Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Our Personal "Towers"/disasters, natural and otherwise ;-P

Brightest Lammas/Imbolc blessings, everybody (for what that seems worth, coming from me, at the moment)! ;-P

OK, I admit it; I do feel a bit (uncharacteristically) depressed - after two nights' disturbed sleep, especially last night, waking at the 'ungodly' 4 am and unable to go back to sleep, I can no longer deny it, and seriously question how well I will function today... ;-P

In those 'ungodly' dark hours, I found myself thinking a lot about disasters, natural and otherwise. Disasters we have known, personally.

You routinely have your storms and earthquakes on the west coast of the USA, from California to Oregon, and yet choose to remain there (some would call this foolhardy!). They routinely have floods and hurricanes in New Orleans, and yet some may choose to return to live there, as we speak (I don't know... anyone know about the New Orleans situation?) ;-P

Every once in a while, I manage to switch off my natural 'speaking' function, and engage brain in 'listening' mode; some naturally make good counsellors, i.e. good listeners, while others of us have to make more of a conscious effort to set aside our personal agendas, to genuinely focus on the client: I belong to the latter category. Hopefully, this does not make me less worthy a 'counsellor' than the more 'natural' kind. Yesterday, I managed to abruptly switch off my habitual flow of verbal diarrhoea and listen to Peter, a fellow worker at Gawith, and sidereal Aries, who faced the storms and bushfires in Kinglake last week. His story - of his own personal "Tower"/disaster experience interested me very greatly. Unlike those Americans who choose to stay in, or return to, their own personal disaster zones, Peter said it now seemed "on the cards" that he and Serena, his wife, and another fellow worker, would sell up and not return; he pronounced the old Aussie "hippie dream" of living in the bush and commuting daily to the city to work now officially dead, in his case, with characteristic Aussie laconic dryness. He just found it all too scary, first battling the actual fires, then the torrential rains, which at first did not help, and only ignited several smaller spot-fires, with the lightning! He also wants to see the re-introduction of capital punishment for arsonists, since most of the major fires appeared deliberately lit, and one has to wonder at the mentality of those so-called "people" who would deliberately do something like that (makes you ashamed to belong to the same species, actually! ;-P)

The "Tower"/disaster experience takes many forms, and we respond to it in many and varied ways, according to our personalities, nationalities, upbringings etc. A lot of it seems to involve the destruction of personal hopes and dreams in particular, which seems the bit that really hurts; *if you want to give God a laugh, tell him your plans*, as Mike Scott put it, which I had myself as an online signature for a while, i.e. the world can seem a very cruel and unforgiving place, ruled by cruel and mocking gods, if any - and you don't even have to identify yourself as a 'gnostic' to feel that! ;-P

I currently experience my own "Tower", but not so much in the sense of the "Deluge" (the New Orleans hurricane and flooding of the Mississippi, as in the Voodoo Tarot), more in the sense of the "Holocaust" of the Secret Dakini Oracle, i.e. the imminent ending of my dream of continuing my tenuous connection with Bjorn Erik, chronically locked up in Norway. This seems to have taken the form of a more long-drawn-out, quasi-NDE (shamanic experience?) and classic "midlife crisis", after which nothing in one's life can ever seem the same again. Indeed, my life has become unrecognisable from what it seemed before.

There seem also possibilities of "enlightenment" or "awakening" with the Sturm and Drang of this experience... I only hope to God/dess we all find them ;-P


Blogger Sebastian Aristos said...

I'm not sure what the "Sturm and Drang" are, but I hope that you're feeling better soon. I remember reading somewhere, I think it was the Desiderata, that says that much worry and fear is born of fatigue, so I hope that after a few good nights' sleep, you are back to your cheery old self.

Good to see too, that your feeling rotten hasn't prevented you from blogging. (This from the purely selfish perspective of a fan of your blog).

12:31 pm  
Blogger asgif666 said...

"Sturm und Drang" = German term for all that 'stormy passion' and stuff characteristic of true Romantic literature (with a capital R!), and in "big R" sense, the Germans seem the most "Romantic" people in Europe, in the strict literary sense, followed closely by the Poms, not that you might expect that, but 'wuthering heights' would probably = the nearest English equivalent... ;-))

There seemed a bit of 9 of Swords 'doom and gloom' around in general in the air today; see also Katrina's latest post on the Gawith Villa blog (on the feeling of the 9 of Swords in the Whimsical Tarot!)... Not that a good night's sleep won't help, of course, but it also helps take you 'out of yourself', so to speak, to focus on another's needs and concerns rather than your own... And at least, to my relief, I think I COULD still do it, despite my doubts of this morning (beginning with a little judicious "self-disclosure", one of the more high-risk tactics in counselling, in general)... ;-))

No worries about blogging, the 'good, the bad, the ugly' and all (as I believe very strongly that blogs need not appear all New Age fluffy-bunny 'sweetness and light', in fact such a blog would completely bore me to tears, lol! Nor even necessarily very funny, all of time, unless they come from the heart, with a fair amount of head thrown in...) Actually, I basically posted all of this first as an email post to wyrd, and then just copied and pasted it here, with some minor re-edits; and then of course, wyrd itself helped, as my usual, morning, 'feel-good' pick-me-up (along with the first coffee and first smoke, hehe!). So, I have my strategies in place, and they seem to work, i.e. I need not necessarily fall in a complete heap when a bit 'down', but thanks for caring, anyway, Sebi!

Oh, and btw, Peter also liked what I had written about him: his 10 mins. of blog 'fame' from today, as I had to run it by him to check if it needed deleting, editing or whatever, in the interests of not appearing slanderous, libellous or defamatory, in any way, shape or form... As Usch also liked her blog spot of 'fame' yesterday...

I therefore also 'get by' with a little, or rather, a lot of, help from my friends!! ;-))

3:13 pm  
Blogger asgif666 said...

But go easy on the "cheery OLD self", ok? lol

3:14 pm  
Blogger asgif666 said...

>Your search - - did not match any answers in Blogger Help.
Please change your search terms and try again.

Omg, Shirl/mythos has deleted her blog? That seems all this little "spidereal monkey" needs... *macarthurs park is melting in the dark/all the sweet green icing flowing down/someone left the cake out in the rain/i don't think that i can make it/cos it took so long to bake it/and i'll never have that recipe again...oh, no!* ;-P

5:50 pm  
Blogger asgif666 said...

>Six of Cups (Pleasure): Opening your heart to the simple pleasures of life. Fond memories fuel the playful embrace of love and life. Engaging in acts of gentle kindness. Harmony of natural forces without effort or strain. Meeting an old friend....???

I freakin wish!!!

Shirl/mythos = my own "Twin Towers"? ;-P

5:53 pm  
Blogger asgif666 said...

On the strength of that card, I did just ring her, and we did both make a bit more of an effort... ;-P

8:55 pm  
Blogger asgif666 said...

I mean, ;-))

8:56 pm  
Blogger Medusa161 said...

Speaking of the Tower (upside down and all) ... I find myself locked out of Yahoo today. So far I have had no success in solving the problem. When it rains it just has to pour, she muses.

See my blog for the message that I would like posted to Wyrd Crossings please.

9:13 pm  
Blogger asgif666 said...

Have beaten you to it, Su, and already posted it, as is, on wyrd_crossings...hope you get back with us very, very soon!

Weird things seem afoot, and not all good, she muses... ;-P

10:30 pm  
Blogger mythosandbios said...

I worked with some of the survivors of the Cockatoo fires - ofd, must be more than a decade ago - such loss is appalling.

mythosmistblog disappeared into the bin of cyberspace because I just don't have the energy or interest to maintain it.

Usch Saggitarian Chronic figure reminds me of chiron returns - especially the crow/raven on his back.

I hope that I communicated the depth of my need for space. See you at Tarot cafe with Usch!

8:25 am  

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