Karen Hamaker-Zonday, The 12th House: the hidden power in the horoscope
"...the child reacts unfailingly to the real, unconscious message that says, 'You are rejected', or 'You are not accepted', and is unable to reconcile it with the apparent outer reality fabricated by spurious attention and meaningless [I always knew this!] gifts." (p. 34)
''An unaspected ruler of the 12th is a special case. As it has no direct links with other planets..." Actually, I will forget that bit, since my moon does in fact aspect Venus (insignificant semi-sextile), trines Ascendant, semi-square Midheaven, AND square Chiron! (So I had better revise that also... revisiting my natal chart, courtesy of Astrology for Windows) ;-))
But still the only planet my moon does significantly aspect seems the 'outsider' Chiron, so I still wonder about disagreeable aspects of my mother's not persevering with breastfeeding me: I have the same inverted nipples as she, but did persevere with breastfeeding my son, with the help of a midwife, and I did end up at least satisfactorily breastfeeding... in fact, it kept me (relatively) sane when all else failed, including my son's father! The flow of milk etc. also seemed good, to the point where it could have provided a natural contraceptive, only they would not tell me that at the time, preferring I stick to a 'mini-pill'... It only started to peter, when he seemed ready to wean himself, at 15 months, i.e. knew about fridge, and that it contained other "drinks", in teething cups... ;-))
OK, so what does one make of Jupiter (exalted in Cancer, 'accidentally dignified' in the 12th) and Pluto (in Leo) in the 12th, the Pluto trine Mercury in the 8th, where the Moon also coincidentally finds itself?
In the absence of any comments or helpful suggestions, I guess I had better read on...
"To be more specific, if your child has Pluto in the 12th, that can mean that you and your partner had a Plutonic process going on the under surface, or that a crisis was brewing. Also, I have frequently met this placement where the parents found themselves in very trying circumstances, e.g. when they were living with inlaws and one of the child's grandparents was so domineering that the parents were in a state of tension." (p. 48)
Yep, sounds like my parents living behind a fish and chip shop in Mascot, with my grandparents alright, before my grandparents got their spot in Australia's first Housing Commission flats, Greenway flats, on the north shore, immediate north end of the Bridge, Milson's Point, Sydney... The 'domineering grandparent' would = my Sydney grandmother, who terrorised me, and had me in a constant state of tension when we subsequently visited her in Sydney, to the point where I could not visit her, even on her deathbed (my sisters did that), although I did not mind 'seeing off' my Sydney grandfather, whom my father sneered at as a 'barroom intellectual', with whom I probably have more in common, but never got to find out? ;-P
"in a positive sense, it can also mean that one of the parents possesses a talent ruled by Pluto and is not using it and perhaps is unaware of it. Thus a child with Pluto in the 12th, whose mother took up the study of psychology later in life, is a case in point (my italics!). It turned out greatly to the mother's advantage when her latent gift was developed." (p. 49)
Jupiter in the 12th also = my mother's thwarted (by circumstances) wish to study medicine (?), or possibly the priesthood(?), which I did 'inherit', with the intention of becoming a psychiatrist in particular, but which in turn got thwarted by the sneering attitude of my father, when I voiced this intention? (And I did get the marks to have studied medicine, as well as law, which I started, but found boring, all too boring?! And, as an arts student, I did find that, curiously, my 'best friends' at the time tended to = med. students - until I fell 'Plutonically' out with them as well, of course) ;-P
By a curious and perverted twist, my son seems to have inherited this 'family thread', in his intention to study science, with the intention of specialising in neuroscience, in particular? *raised eyebrow* (Uranus in Scorpio, 1st house, which I always thought the sign of some 'hidden perversion' or other...) Except that he does not believe in astrology, and thinks it all a load of old cobblers, although he did seem suitably impressed when I related both his height (Jupiter) and interest in the Japanese art of kendo (Mars) to his Mars/Jupiter conjunction on his ascendant (also in Libra, which means he will argue that black = white, just for the hell of it!) lol
Mind you, come to think of it, those 'thwarted' Jupiterian tendencies could also = my desire, as a child, to 'play at priest', distributing small paper hosts to toys, etc., until my mother 'thwarted' that, saying it would amount to 'sacrilege' (although children take these things very seriously, as in when also playing parents, teachers or doctors)... I guess that seems the time the 'glass ceiling' of the almighty Catholic church fell down around my ears in a god-almighty crash, and I realised I could find no future there... Although I did subsequently 'play at' becoming nun (one of Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity), "special minister" distributing communion in St Francis' ex-cathedral, Melbourne, and lay Carmelite in all deadly seriousness, those vocations just did not add up to the ultimate vocation of 'priest'? A curse, a hex, and a pox on you, Catholic church, for denying women the priesthood (from one extremely cynical, bitter, twisted and disillusioned, very ex-Catholic) ;-P I can still = 'high priestess of my own coven', but I shall just never = 'priest', by any criteria? Dang it all, I wonder what serious damage I may have inflicted on the Catholic church, if I had equated to a male, as per my mother's occasionally stated wish, and become a priest in that church!!! Mwahaha.... *very evil, bitter, cynical and disenchanted laugh* ;-P
Kind of like my equally 'missed vocation', as of receiving both the French and science prizes in year 9 at school, of 'French nuclear scientist'? i.e. I could have blown up the whole world several times by now? *very evil Plutonian laugh*
(It also occurs to me that those 'thwarted' Jupiterian tendencies may also relate to my wish that my son become a Catholic priest...like that would ever happen, when he opted out of the Catholic church, having served as an altarboy and narrowly escaping the clutches of a convicted paedophile priest, as well as angelically singing boy soprano until his voice broke, immediately after confirmation, aged 11? lol)
Sorry about opening this can of worms, everybody, but that seems what you get when you dare to take the lid off the (normally covered) 12th house: a bloody, great, writhing can of worms!!! lol
P.S. Does anyone else find it a drag when the sun moves sidereally into my mother's sidereal sun-sign of Capricorn, or does that just seem my own reaction?
cf. William Blake's The Little Vagabond, i.e.:
The Little Vagabond
Dear Mother, dear Mother, the Church is cold, t
But the Ale-house is healthy & pleasant &amp;amp; warm;
Besides I can tell where I am use'd well, t
Such usage in heaven will never do well. t
[45:4 Original reading: Such usage in heaven makes
all go to hell. See textual note]
But if at the Church they would give us some Ale.
And a pleasant fire, our souls to regale;
We'd sing and we'd pray, all the live-long day;
Nor ever once wish from the Church to stray,
Then the Parson might preach & drink & sing.
And we'd be as happy as birds in the spring:
And modest dame Lurch, who is always at Church,
Would not have bandy children nor fasting nor birch.
And God like a father rejoicing to see, t
His children as pleasant and happy as he:
Would have no more quarrel with the Devil or the Barrel
But kiss him & give him both drink and apparel.
"[Pearl Buck also] has the ruler of the 4th in the 12th.
In daily life this often goes with a feeling of being
displaced, and of not feeling at home in one's family or in
the land where one lives." (p.97) (Jupiter in the 12th,Sag.
on cusp of 4th house) ;-P