Wednesday, October 26, 2005

What should I do about letter from Queen of Pentacles, as dreamt earlier this week? (a reading)

The Relationship spread provides insight into the interaction between two people or entities. The Curious Tarot amounts to the rarest and most unusual of modern decks. Only 100 Curious Tarots exist!
Click for DetailsThe card at the top left represents how you see yourself. Justice: The achievement of balance and inner harmony after a great trial. Karma restored. One thinks of Justice as a Libran thing, but I see myself as a successful "bush lawyer", only too pleased to scratch her from my life (Rooster/Virgo) and let the dust settle between us at last. What do I stand to gain but feathers ruffled again, and eventually flying?
Click for DetailsThe card at the top right represents how you see your partner. Queen of Cups: A natural counselor and healer, one whose relaxed presence seems to embody deep love and spirituality, when she won't see those qualities in me, let alone a tranquil poet? I think not. And what parent ever loved with perfect and unconditional love? Neither of us surely. I have served a long and hard apprenticeship in this, but not in her school.
Click for DetailsThe card in the center left represents how you feel about your partner. Judgement: A swift and conclusive decision. The resolution of a matter long unanswered. A change in point of view, most frequently towards greater enlightenment. Final balancing of karma. Funnily enough, today's card when I got this letter. I feel the heavy karmic weight of this last (?) judgment I must make. Have I made my previous judgements too reflexly, unconsciously? Yet even they did not seem easy to make. I feel satisfied with my previous judgements, and this 'appeal' against them throws me out of equilibrium.
Click for DetailsThe card in the center right represents what stands between you and your partner. Page of Wands: May indicate the birth of a child, her newly-kindled enthusiasm at becoming a great-grandmother. But how can she expect me to share the enthusiasm of becoming a great-aunt when, last time they arrived in Melbourne, my previously beloved niece and god-daughter did not even bother to return my attempted contact, let alone visit? Let alone all my attempted contacts with that side of the family from Norway?
Click for DetailsThe card in the lower left represents how your partner sees you. Queen of Pentacles: for all the good and bad qualities of my sidereal Capricorn mommie dearest, I find them most resonantly summed up in the one word contained in the unopened letter in my dream: "Rigid". Basically, she seems a middle-class snob, cannot forgive me my downward mobility, and fears poverty as a disease she might catch. Should I ever have opened this letter (read: "can of worms"), or left it unopened as in my dream? She tries hard not to seem so "rigid", but will she ever understand that not all of us seem cut out to compete in an economic rationalist world?
Click for DetailsThe card in the lower right represents what your partner feels about you. The Hanged Man: Pausing to reflect. Surrendering to an experience. Adjusting to new ideas through sacrifice. Opening oneself to intuition and enhanced awareness. Letting go of past patterns and growing beyond them. Inner peace, faith, and serenity. The unappreciated one. I fear her spirituality and "Aboriginal retreat", though; surely she will find some way to turn it into a guilt-trip against me?
Click for DetailsThe card in the center represents the present status or challenge of the relationship. King of Wands: The essence of fire behaving as air, such as lightning: A great and daring leader who inspires others to rise to challenges alongside him. An artist who can take hold of an idea and make it a reality through bold action. I foresee basically a struggle for leadership and domination here, to see who will emerge as the "real king of the jungle". Basically, she has always controlled and dominated me, and I came to resent that more and more , the older I got. I felt a lot better off outside the sphere of her dominance and control. Whatever I decide, and I still have all weekend to, King Monkey says, "She who laughs last, laughs best!" At all costs, I must maintain my sense of humor!

7 Comments:

Blogger mythosandbios said...

EeeeeK! What can one say to that! You have my compassion for what can be the most difficult relationship in the world - and obviously is for you ... and so many others, or the most beautiful - as it is for me, and I do feel my wonderful good fortune."What to do? What to do?" With my Capricornian sister, I just agree with every thing she says and then go my own way. But, can one do that with a mother, and when one does not have a nice touch of diplomatic libra rising?

A bunch of strategies for keeping you on an even keel? For my Aries son we worked on the 'Excuse me, I must go .... depends on the situation - but the loo is always good - no one denies the needs of nature ... sit, fume a little, do a instant relaxation ... bring the thermometer down below boiling point again? ... then return.

Same can be used for feeling overwhelmed. Mine is to make coffee ... I drink way too much coffee though when I am overwhelmed and need a couple of minutes time out to bring it all under control! hehehe!

But GUILT - the great un-doer? ... reality check helps ... can't ever make another person happy, only they can - detach, let it go - surrender it to the universe like the Hanged Man. Takes practice, and hardest in the most enmeshed of all relationships - the mother relationship!

The degree of inner strength that you have built about the validity of your own identity and your right to have it is your most valuable weapon. If it is strong enough, one no longer feels the need to defend it ... it is fully defended by self esteem and inner strength. But, of course, few of us feel that secure in our chosen identities ... and that is the fly in the ointment. One needs a strong ego before one can let it go.
Good luck! May the Fates be with you, not against you!

3:54 am  
Blogger asgif666 said...

>With my Capricornian sister, I just agree with every thing she says and then go my own way.

Sounds like a good policy, also with sid. Cap. John ;-))

>A bunch of strategies for keeping you on an even keel? For my Aries son we worked on the 'Excuse me, I must go .... depends on the situation - but the loo is always good - no one denies the needs of nature ... sit, fume a little, do a instant relaxation ... bring the thermometer down below boiling point again? ... then return.

Actually, I did not feel the stress so much during our encounters as before (gut-wrenching anxiety) or after (drivelling depression), which seems why I feel better off without either! lol

>But GUILT - the great un-doer? ... reality check helps ... can't ever make another person happy, only they can - detach, let it go - surrender it to the universe like the Hanged Man.

Good point, i.e. take a leaf out of her own book, and have my own spiritual retreat? ;-))

>The degree of inner strength that you have built about the validity of your own identity and your right to have it is your most valuable weapon. If it is strong enough, one no longer feels the need to defend it ... it is fully defended by self esteem and inner strength. But, of course, few of us feel that secure in our chosen identities ... and that is the fly in the ointment. One needs a strong ego before one can let it go.
Good luck! May the Fates be with you, not against you!

Thanks for this very thoughtful response, with a lot of good points, mythos ;-))

8:34 am  
Blogger asgif666 said...

Actually I thought, if I do decide to meet her, I would ideally like a professional mediator present, in the interests of a fair go to both parties; I know they provide such a service here in tenant-tenant disputes... I wonder if I could call in this favor also in this more personal one? Interesting thought, though, hmmm? ;-))

8:38 am  
Blogger asgif666 said...

The last idea (professional mediation) would also wake her up to the seriousness of the issues for me...! ;-))

8:41 am  
Blogger mythosandbios said...

A very good - in fact extraordinary - conflict resolution mediator is Monica Hill. She is very involved in the conflict resolution association/society, and, I believe, is a trainer with the Faculty of Education at Melbourne Uni.

That would be sufficient information to track her down - add a description of tiny, bird-like, petite. She is brilliant, and even if not available, could direct you to someone excellent who deals with family mediation. Good idea btw.

I worked with her in Education - she as a GO - Educational Psych, me as social worker - I did some conflict resolution training with her, and workshops on child abuse and neglect, also co-counselling of families. She is a star, easy to relate to, absolutely brilliant, and - most importantly - un-biased.

She lives and works around your area too.

11:17 pm  
Blogger asgif666 said...

Sure, she seems great, but I had also had the cost factor in mind, and therefore a free service for 'poor people' ;-P

Must ring today, from Gawith (some disenfranchised poor sod has cut through our phone connection, not usual, with the tenants here!) ;-P

7:16 am  
Blogger Sebastian Aristos said...

Claire,

You and Mythos have certainly managed to create some interesting conversations together for your blog fans to enjoy. What is the latest on your attempt to get some mediation in your relationship with your mother. I wish you could use my family therapist. It's been comforting to read all this here, as I had a bit of a challenge this week with my mother. I tried Mythos' 'go to the toilet for a while' when I'm angry approach. Sometimes we all need a little help in resolving things. And sometimes we feel that, as you said, perhaps it's not worth it after all, if the person continues to cause so much pain and conflict for us.

Anyway, good luck. Mythos' suggestion seems a good one. It seems a shame too, that a few dollars should prevent you from seeking assistance in your relationship with your mother. Perhaps there is a psychologist who bulk bills that might be able to help you.

Love,
Sebi
XXX

9:29 am  

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