Friday, August 26, 2005

Last night's dream

It seems as if I find myself flying home from somewhere, and my biggest worry consists in how to get my extremely heavy suitcase to and from the airport...
Comment and interpretation: I find the thought of "coming home" extremely spiritually exciting. If only I could just "come home" like Dorothy, by clicking some ruby-red slippers (now, where do I find those slippers?). The extreme weight of the baggage seems to refer to karmic weight, although anyone would think I had burned off some by now (maybe I have re-incurred some since, though). Woke up thinking I could just go to a luggage shop and buy one of those little sets of wheels to just strap on to the suitcase... ;-))
Speaking of "reptilian monsters" (see Anne Rice dream below), and in the 'light' of Sebi's subsequent comments: I feel we may all have to undergo some sort of process of 'karmic stripping', that will leave us stripped of our normally simian and mammalian selves. We think of the back part of the brain, or the 'reptilian', as the most 'primitive', but that could represent a misconception, from the gnostics on. Frontal cortex equates to the monkey brain, midbrain to the mammalian/emotional, and these two together constitute our psychic (or soul) personality in gnostic terms; the backbrain, or reptilian, we can regard as the naked hylic (physical) on the one hand, but maybe the only one that also touches on the pneumatic (or spiritual)...see today's cyber-Tarot, 7 of Cups, with its 'rare and exceptional' opportunity for spiritual realization! Consider the archetype of the 'winged serpent', and the fact that birds have evolved from dinosaurs, having grown feathers and wings.... There seems no part of the brain that directly corresponds to the pneumatic, but maybe the hylic touches on it, more than the psychic (simian/mammalian, intellectual/emotional)? Hence the need for 'karmic stripping' away of 'excess baggage', and some of us seem lucky enough to experience this 'purgatory' in the bardo of this life, before the afterlife (so much of my Carmelite spirituality, and no more, remains with me)? I.e. the spiritual life, in the bardo of this life, seems about getting rid of as much 'baggage' as you can, before you get to the afterlife... till we seem but 'skinned rabbits', even in this life?

Afterthought: walking to Gawith Villa, I suddenly recall the image of the soul weighed against the feather of Ma'at in the Egyptian vision of the afterlife, and realise that the karmic stripping must continue, until our soul weighs only the weight of a feather, of truth (Ma'at) ;-))

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Mommie dearest revisited, or the real face of terror?

My worst nightmare ever: just having boasted yesterday that there seemed no such thing as a 'bad dream', only good, if worked through, it seems as if I live back 'home' with my mother, and she seems a really demented witch/hag, throwing all manner of abuse at me. When I criticize the rubbish she watches on TV (channel 9), she virtually accuses me of somehow having responsibility for that (as if!), and then hurls strange, made-up words at me, worse than any I have encountered in literati, such as "her-e-tic" (with the stress on the middle e), supposedly meaning "ir(e)n", with the stress on the first, short i, supposedly meaning, "basically tolerant of evil". It seems she could never understand the dialectical richness of Anne Rice, this devoutly Catholic, Christian woman, for whom good and evil represent absolutes, and not the two sides of the same coin they represent to me, and Anne; Ansur and I have so much in common, he with his devoutly and hypocritically Protestant, Christian mother, but unlike him, catch me nursing her in her dying days! Even my sisters seem oddly sympathetic and supportive next to her, as they and a friend bundle up my bedclothes to take into my (old) bedroom, but I retrieve them, and bring them back into the lounge, setting up a small and narrow bed for myself on the mantelpiece, hoping to gain a little warmth? She seizes them, and wraps them around herself, to carry them away again, and I think how oddly she resembles a stereotypical terrorist, as I begin to unwind them from her again...
Comment: I have tried to re-enter this dream using active imagination, to calmly walk from the room and retire to my bedroom, or even leave the house, but the feeling of bottomless rage, despair and, yes, terror still remain. I probably should not blog this, but I have to, to get it somehow out of my system and off my chest, and it seems unlikely she, as a total Luddite, will ever see this anyway. There you have it, my own worst nightmare, the witch's own demented hag, in the person of a mother scarier to her even than Sybil's mother, or Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest (and I thought them pretty terrifying at the time, the two scariest movies ever?). I found Sybil's mother in particular the only one who had ever made me afraid of the dark, but now... How can I return to the dark? The best I can do seems to continue to avoid her, like the plague? ;-P
(Today's cyber-Tarot, Queen of Swords, definitely had something to do with this dream - ignore their interpretation! Queen of Swords represents both my mum, a widow, and me, separated. In my Tarot, the goddess Athene represents her: the only goddess who had it in for Arachne, and therefore the only goddess Arachne still has it in for? Not that I mind life as a spider, mind... just keep Athene away! Possibly this dream represents an actual psychic attack by her?) ;-))
Weird sequel to dream, later in the night/earlier in the morning: Found myself out driving with Sebi, on some sort of weird Gawith Villa daytrip (!), and, having subsidised Sebi's petrol (from "Frankston-Rye"), had bought two slabs of Toohey's beer, and stood them beside my bag, foolishly not locking them safely in the car. A, a client, wanted to make off with one. B, a worker, wanted to "steal" it back off her in turn. When we caught up with her, by car, A began calmly unpacking my beer into her bag, unchallenged by B. I felt furious, and began screaming that I could not call her (A) my friend any more.
Comment and interpretation: Reminds me of Hank's dreams re alcohol when supposedly in detox. Questions regarding alcohol interfere with friendship, and professional life, on all levels?
I tend also to regard this dream as maybe physically therapeutic; maybe client in dream symbolised whatever caused my health scare on the weekend, and I "screamed" at "her" to "banish" her, much as cancer patients use visualization devices against their cancer cells, i.e. nothing "robs" me of the right to enjoy my alcohol ;-))

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Red Electric Skywalker

Another dream: I woke up someone I liked, and wanted to put my arms around him, but he just pushed me off, and said, "The pact's over", then he wanted to watch an M-movie I didn't want to watch, in my bedroom. I felt furious.
Not exactly a lucid dream, but a very lucid response: using active imagination, I put myself back into the dream while just awake, to rewrite the ending I did not particularly like, and replied, "Pact? We never made a pact, which would amount to a written agreement signed, sealed and delivered by both parties, and therefore legally binding. An unwritten agreement does not seem worth the paper you did not write it on. We agreed to have sex, and therefore consider yourself lucky I will not file any rape charges. Since we have no pact, you will not watch a movie I do not want in my room. You can go and watch it in the lounge room for now, and by tonight you will find another place to sleep."
I feel a lot happier, and stronger, since that new ending! Not exactly the ending everyone would wish, but better than someone 'using' you, which ultimately leads to their abusing you. The Eurhythmics got it wrong: in relationships, 'use' and abuse do not amount to two separate categories, but the same, and practised by the same people ;-))

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

George Bush creates new award for John Howard

I just learned today that George Bush has created new award, just for John Howard. Now we also learned, at trivia, that the Victoria Cross bears the two simple words, "For Valour". What did they write on John's award, but three simple words, "For sucking up"? Even the Americans seem stunned by his level of sucking. Get real, John, sucking up will never have a place of honour in any "Australian way". Someone should sack you for "unAustralian activities". Whatever happened to the even more honorable, larrikin art of "taking the piss"?

Dreams: After a hard night travelling in the Otherworld of dream-literati, it seems that must also have been at least semi-lucid, because when at one point I thought I had inadvertently given a copy of my driver's licence (with street address) to another player, I seemed able to tell myself that the TV (off) did not amount to my computer, and I did not have the computer logged in to literati, all without waking up! Maybe I should stay off the piss more, because then my dreams do increase in lucidity, as I had hoped? (I could even sleep more, due to tiredness at not feeling able to eat properly) ;-))
I also had another dream, which I interpreted even within the dream (also an act of lucidity?) as being a visitation from Anne Rice in the form of one of the dolls from her collection. In the dream, I found myself pushing around a tiny doll-carriage containing two dolls, one dark- and one fair-haired, which I eventually named Anne and Sophie (Anne equated to the dark-haired one, and did quite resemble photos of Anne Rice). I also had to push around a baby carriage containing another doll and a stuffed, pink rabbit, all while trying to find my way home, and getting hungrier and hungrier, feeling "homeless" even, because of transport delays and frustrations. Finally "Anne" and "Sophie" (Wisdom, her fair-haired companion) became real, as in the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, and they stood under a tall tower which seemed in imminent danger of exploding; I felt concerned for their and all of our safety (o O, the Tarot Arcanum of the burning Tower, XVI?), but the tower, red-coloured, did not explode, and they turned into some kind of reptilian monsters, and just laughed at it ("banishing by laughter"?), so I knew everything would be alright... ;-))
Comment: the pink rabbit could represent Sebi, with his "unconditional, positive regard" (Carl Rogers), from the heart? In that sense, and that sense only ("maintaining boundaries"), can he call himself my "counsellor"! lol

Today's cyber-Tarot: Actually I disagree totally with the interpretation given for today's cyber-Tarot, 4 of Pentacles ("cleaving to material power"), as I usually do, but don't bother to comment. I would rather interpret it, from my own customised Tarot, as an injunction to simply "slow down, you move too fast / You've got to make the morning last now" (as per the words of Simon and Garfunkel's "Feelin' Groovy").

Addition to 21st century kabbalistic astrology: if we also include the other planet, Chiron, the Wounded Healer, that makes 11 planets (see 10 below), also incorporating the mysterious 11th sephira Daath, Knowledge, or gnosis (the initiate's way)? ;-))

Monday, August 22, 2005

Updated post on the new kabbalistic astrology and Ramtha's tenth planet

Scientists at CalTech have just discovered this 10th planet in our solar system, long predicted by Ramtha, and the picture will explain why they have not noticed it before...No one looked in the right direction! lol

Despite my email, that would still not work, as it leaves out Saturn; maybe we have to leave out the moon (itself not a planet, but a planetary satellite, and the sun, a star, not to mention the elements,) and we get:

working from the bottom up:

Malkuth = Earth, or Gaia (i.e. the material plane as our reference point);
Yesod = Venus;
Hod = Mercury;
Netzach = Mars;
Tifareth = Jupiter ;
Geburah = Saturn;
Gedulah = Uranus (i.e. technology as a beneficent source of understanding and enlightenment, this age of Aquarius);
Binah = Neptune (nice, given its previous watery associations);
Hokmah = Pluto;
the top one, Kether = Ramtha's kingdom of the gods, and almost beyond our mortal ken?
That seems how I would do it anyway ;-))

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Boffins locate earth: you find yourself here ;-)) Posted by Picasa

Red Crystal Moon

>Communication under the Leo Moon...

>Now that Mercury (planet of communication) just went direct yesterday--- We will all decide to "make time" to enjoy fun and freedom. Bon Voyage my dear gypsy-toed and delightful winged friends, and of course this time now especially includes Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces! And remember too that these are not just SUN signs I am talking about, but any of you who also have any one of these specific signs' as your rising sign or moon sign, as well!!

Hehe, that means me!! ;-))

>Besides Mercury going direct this past Monday, August 15th, we also have an awesome full moon on Friday, the 19th!! My precious Lion and Lioness will be highly and favorably affected, as well as you dazzling Water-Bearers because as you'll notice it is an Aquarius Full Moon. And this is a progressive Full Moon, so be sure to make those computer purchases, or buy High Tech items that you've been considering buying, but were putting off, due to Merc retro, YES!! now's the time, so, go for it beginning today and you'll find great deals and steals by the end of this week, and this weekend is a great one for you all too, romantically! A great time ahead toward month's end, with lots of happy times and especially those areas of life that you've been attempting to improve.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

some days, our lives seem like a game, or a soap opera? (idea borrowed from the Gawith Villa blog) ;-)) Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Does this amount to enough naked men for you, Sebi? Just for you ;-)) Posted by Picasa

What the Bleep?

If you enjoyed the movie, What the Bleep Do We Know, download the free study guide at and if you want to know what the best minds, especially the weirdest minds in the Greater Portland area, think about it, join the email study group at (for those of us unfortunate enough not to live in that area, where they meet regularly) ;-))

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Cry to Heaven, Anne Rice

"He must know when to swell a note, how long to hold it, whether to break a passage into notes of unequal time or those of equal time, and how far he might go into ascending or descending intricacies. And he must at all times articulate the words of a cantata so that in spite of all this exquisite ornamentation, the meaning of the words was clear to everyone.

It was a fairly difficult novel to write,' Anne [Rice] said. 'It was a dare of sorts. I was trying to construct a story that was fundamentally extremely implausible, because no Venetian aristocrat had ever been made into a castrato. (...)

"She was limited by her ability to read Italian (...) The 'cry to heaven' is that of 'children mutilated to make a choir of seraphim, their song a cry to heaven that heaven did not hear.' The perfection of their voices, developed for religious purposes, is that even heaven should take notice, but at an expense no that no benevolent God should allow to happen. Yet God seems oblivious."

-Prism of the Night, Katherine Ramsland, pp. 198-9.

Friday, August 12, 2005


Omg, two nights ago I dreamt my son and my mum both approached me, and my only regret seemed receiving my mum with as open arms as my son ;-p
But right after this, I dreamt, first, that I cared for Bjorn Erik as a kind of Gawith Villa client, and cycling around with him, I went over a cliff and then had to cling on for dear life, not to fall down a precipice... Then I saw, semi-lucidly, one of the clients at Gawith Villa, with her leg up on a table, like a ballerina at the bar; I told her to put it down, and then did a double take (this seems the semi-lucid part) and thought, hang on, if she can do that, it seems a miracle! Hence, expecting miracles this week ;-))

Saturday, August 06, 2005

wicked, wicked TV: Big Brother meets the Weakest Link, meets the doctor ;-))

Doctor Who
Bad Wolf

7:30pm Saturday, August 6, 2005

In the "Bad Wolf" episode of Doctor Who which screens on Saturday August 6 at 7.30pm on ABC TV, Rose (Billie Piper) and the Doctor (Christopher Eccleston) find themselves back on Satellite Five, one hundred years after they were last there. But what should be the fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire is now The Game Station.

The Doctor, Rose and Captain Jack (John Barrowman) were travelling in the Tardis when an unbearable white light came through its walls. When they awake they are trapped on the Game Station in the year 202,005 or thereabouts. The Doctor becomes a housemate in the "Big Brother" house. Rose competes on "The Weakest Link" and Jack gets a "What Not to Wear" makeover. Here, game shows and reality television have run wild. When people are voted out of the "Big Brother" house they are murdered. If you lose the "Weakest Link" you die and if you get a makeover on "What Not to Wear", your head could be sawn off.

Suspended in a crucifix of wires on what was the old Floor 500 control room is "The Controller", a naked, wet female, glittering, bald and albino with a body covered with wires, cables and surgical drips which stretch to the roof and walls, "The Controller" stares ahead and never stops counting. It seems Rose, The Doctor and Jack are prisoners of the "Bad Wolf Corporation", a front for the most deadly enemy of all who, even as The Doctor tries to make sense of the bad wolf riddle, is marshalling its forces... To be continued.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

omg, does this seem a cool Norwegian pic courtesy of my friend Steph in Florida, or what?  Posted by Picasa

Breaking spider news ;-))

Maybe the Discovery space mission should learn about this: ;-)) Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Oi, virus warning?? lol

If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY.
Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.



It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send this warning to everyone!!!


Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!!

And look at you - you're on the computer!!!!

> Celebrate this beautiful new month with Saturn's return to LEO, you will take extra special time out to enjoy yourself and reconnect. After the 15th you'll renew old relationships, recreating the initial excitement that was there but could have been kept secret or hidden from you, until now. Much to learn about those whom you 'think' you know. By month's end you'll see how you influenced him/her. Spiritual Blessing: Your wise discernment will bring you great blessings.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Happy Brigantia/Imbolc from down under, everybody!

Omg, how cool does this seem?, courtesy of just a teaser for this year's Burning Man festival... And how auspicious, that today's cyber-Tarot, William Blake's "Nature", Arcanum III, corresponds also to my offline Tarot, the Great Mother, this morning... the Great Goddess truly brings her brightest blessings ;-)) Posted by Picasa

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