Friday, May 06, 2005

Mensa: words that should be words, even if they aren't! ;-))

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. None of them get through spell check.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ass.

>Loved it, Ansur. May I add one or two?
BAGGRAVATION, n. A feeling of annoyance and anger one endures at the airport when his bags have not arrived at the baggage carousel but everyone else's bags have.
MCJOB, n. A job in a service related field with low pay, low prestige and little opportunity for advancement. (Sorry, Ka-Tin, this one actually adds two letters, so doesn't really count; nice try though!) ;-))
MEANDERTHAL, n. An annoying individual driving slowly and aimlessly in front of another individual who is in a bit of a hurry. [Meanderthals are often found in the 'Fast' lane on Freeways, although I have also encountered them on the footpath along Chapel St ;-P].
SARCASTROPHE, n. An embarrassing and catastrophic event occurring when an individual attempts and fails to use humorous sarcasm. [I can relate to that)
WORDROBE, n. a person's vocabulary


Blogger asgif666 said...

Speaking of words, "Courir le Mardi Gras" seems an interesting Creole-French translation of the Devil, in the Voodoo Tarot? ;-))

8:03 am  
Blogger Sebastian Aristos said...

Very clever, Claire. Almost as good as the "Blue Screen of Death" haiku e-mail that you sent me. I particularly like the one about the bozone layer.

10:39 am  

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