Tuesday, April 19, 2005

My turn to (semi-lucidly) dream ;-))

In my dream it seems as if, I feel, at first, terribly guilty over having destroyed two "letters" or comments on someone's blog, on purpose too, although my shame seems more to do with her springing me and sending me an angry email than guilt over the act itself; in a semi-lucid(?) state, I seem to lie awake half the night, wondering whether I really have done this, and why and whether technology really allows these things to happen. The person offended seems "Mrs Ansur" as I destroyed the "letter" comments off a blog owned jointly by her and Ansur, and I banish myself to some long, distant travels, also fleeing my mum, it seems, until I come (by bicycle?) to my mum's house, and peek in out of sheer curiosity; my mum does not seem there, but my sister comes down the stairs wearing a long blue flowery dress of mine (that I wore in the early summer days in Norway, prenuptially) and I leave quickly before she sees me, either... Then I return to Norway, and feel very confused and anxious because as a student I have to start a new semester in some totally unfamiliar subject, in a language not my own, and I attempt to settle into my "digs" cosily, with a small bird in a cage for company, that seems to amuse a small child, who reminds me of baby Josh... I spend much of the time fussing over and protecting this small bird, and taking it to show shopkeepers etc. Finally we begin the semester with much fanfare; they have transformed the "digs" into some sort of lecture amphitheatre, and now I feel concerned about some sort of purplish weed taking over everywhere; I show an American woman what it will soon do to the little pond down below with the aid of a graphic display of its purplish seeds, stuck in an "artistic" abstract arrangement on a piece of bread...
Comments: yes, I know this dream seems rather long and rather complicated but the main point for me seems the semi-lucidity earlier in the dream, in which I wondered whether I dreamt or not, and also how it evolved away from my own concerns (guilt, anxiety, shame, family) to wider "global" concerns such as protecting the bird and telling people about the "dangers of the weed"... o O (a clue to interpretation right there, Sebi?) lol
The two "letter"/comments => the last two letters that finished up my mum and me, so "Mrs Ansur", whom I know not at all, seems confabulated with her.
Blog comments => her reading what I had written about her, and then my wishing she hadn't (wanting to "destroy" them before she saw them?).

3 Comments:

Blogger Sebastian Aristos said...

I wonder what the relationship is between the anxiety about your mother, and the anxiety about arrival in Norway and unpreparedness for exams (a common theme - the anxiety about being unprepared for a 'test'). I also wonder whether the small bird represents an aspect of your inner child that you are taking care of in a way that you feel your mother was incapable of doing. Also it seems that you have the pride about this bird that you feel you would have liked your mother to have about you.

Would I be correct in assuming that the transformation of the place of learning (the lecture amphitheatre) into a place threatened by the weed represents yourunconscious feeling threatened by the anxiety over your changing circumstances. I also recognise the weed as a symbol that can represent a danger to me, and one that might have been present in your mind after reading my dream.

It is also thought that a place or a house represents the unconscious mind, and bodies of water represent the emotions, isn't it ?

Your first comment seems telling to me, in that you were wondering whether "life is but a dream", which is the first step towards lucid dreaming. I have only managed to actually take control of a dream once, when I realized that I was dreaming. Hopefully after having this dream now, you will soon be able to do this at some stage. I wonder then what you will choose to do lucid in the dream state ?

I welcome any comments that mine might provoke. It is interesting that I also dreamed of a building being transformed last night. Perhaps we are both going through dramatic changes in our unconscious.

9:26 am  
Blogger asgif666 said...

You did very well on the anxiety re 'test' (with Mum) and nurturing the small bird as the inner child ;-))
I have only dreamt completely lucidly once too: arguing with my Mum, which I defused by telling her, "It's only a dream, Mum!" lol
Still not sure what the "purple weed" represents: perhaps global ecodisaster? Yes, water does relate to the emotions, but in this dream the house seemed very much "shared", so I relate it to the entire world or planet: deep anxieties about this, which we possibly all share? Maybe one can charge the waters (both physical and emotional) of the entire planet with healing intention, as in What the Bleep, but on a global scale? The bird also represented a part of this, representing all the creatures of the planet, dependent on the ecosystem? In some ways, I felt like some "prophet of doom" in the dream, trying to convince the American woman of the danger in particular, but maybe it also points the way to healing? I must get back to seeing my little water fountain (now operational again!) as a symbol of the waters (and emotions) of the whole planet, and the crystal as the planet itself ;-))

8:37 pm  
Blogger Sebastian Aristos said...

A very interesting lucid dream. If only we could resolve issues with those we are in conflict with by saying "It's only a dream" in waking life.

Don't be put off by the illusion that the earth is big. If we can affect a bottle of water, don't spiritual masters say that the outer world is just a reflection of our inner world, just as dream symbols are reflections of our inner world ?

9:01 am  

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