Saturday, April 30, 2005

Red Self-Existing Earth (dream fragments)

Interesting, given the galactic signature of today, that in my dream I find myself painting Literati in pictures, and the word "scarlet" in particular, with a sensation of synaesthetic delight; last thing I remember, with extreme hypnagogic vividness on waking, walking along a street and my mum surprising me by pulling up, looking very suntanned for some reason, in her car. Dominant emotion: fear, swiftly followed by loathing, and an impulse to flee.
Interesting synchronicity in that Wire in the Blood episode was called "Synchronicity", one of the keywords for today ;-))

Friday, April 29, 2005

Camazotz, the original Mayan bat-god Posted by Hello


Maya mythology Maya mythology refers to the pre-Columbian Maya civilization's extensive polytheistic religious beliefs. These Mesoamerican people followed their religion from over 3,000 years ago until the 9th century, and some stories continue to be told by modern day Maya people as folk tales.
Only three complete Maya texts have survived through the years. The Europeans burned the majority of their books during their conquest of Mesoamerica. Available knowledge of Maya mythology, as such, is rather limited...... Camazotz was a
In the Popol Vuh
The Popol Vuh ("Council Book"; Popol Wuj in modern Quiché spelling) is the book of scripture of the Quiché, a Kingdom of the Maya civilization in Guatemala.
The name Popol Vuh was also adopted by two European rock bands: see Popol Vuh (Norwegian band) (1970s) and Popol Vuh (German band) (1970–2002).
The book begins with the Maya civilization's creation myth followed by the stories of the Maya Hero Twins Hunahpu (Junajpu) and Xbalanque (Xb'alanke), prominent figures of Maya mythology. The book continues with details of the foundation and history of the Quiché Kingdom, tying in the royal family with the legendary gods in order to assert rule by divine right...... The common noun refers to bat-like monsters encountered by the
Maya Hero Twins , who feature prominently in Maya mythology: Ixbalanque and Hun-Apu.

"Castles in the air" dream + inner workings of the Temple of Doom

In the face of divorce papers, I can still incubate a dream (from the Secret Dakini Oracle card "castles in the air", which always reminded me of Bjorn Erik out on day leave, coming home as "king" to his "castle") in which we meet up in a big, fancy hotel on our way to go and live together somewhere else, and enjoy exploring the many, huge rooms, and Bjorn Erik even tells me I don't seem that drunk...! lol

Comments: it seemed when we lived together, the meaning of my life consisted in loving and caring for him; now we live apart, the meaning of my life still consists in dreaming about him!

Strangely enough, the song stuck in my brain as I awaken: "You, still the only one that feels like home"...;-))

This email seemed so funny in response to an email query of mine, that I reproduce it here, for the insights it provides, for those of us not tied to the cycles of paid employment, into the life and times of wage-slaves:

>Aahhhh. "End of Month": the term we use to refer to those halcyon days that mark the last working day of each calendar month.

Corporations throughout the land hold these days sacred and have a seemingly universal ritual related to them.

Each month, on the last working day, we balance all the books. We bring all entries up to date and the acolytes known as Data Comptrollers feed data to the great god 'Kom-Puta', under the watchful eye of the High Priest himself, the Finance Manager.

Kom-Puta, when, awakened, must have the entire weekend (and part of Monday morning) to complete his task and digest his meal of Data. When the time seems right, the lesser priests of the Kom-Puta Department, as we know the Temple of Knowledge, bring the word of Kom-Puta to a meeting of all the High Priests in the organisation who are collectively known as 'Senior Management'.

Senior Management interprets the word of Kom-Puta and invariably prophesy doom and disaster for all except themselves. Sometimes, they make human sacrifice as an offering to the Goddess "Bud-Get". (This is called 'Downsizing' and we often say the 'Downsized' 'Get a Package'.)

We hold eight of these End of Month rituals each year as well as two lesser Sabbats called 'End of Quarter One' and 'End of Quarter Three' and two major Sabbats called 'Half Year' and End of Year'

Strangely, these Quarterly Sabbats bear no relation whatever to the Calendar year, but we tie them to something called the Fiscal Year or Financial Year which usually starts in Australia on July 1st. Some organisations such as the cult I belong to have their roots in Europe. They have abandoned the Australian Fiscal Year and use the Dutch Fiscal Year to arrange their rituals. This Dutch Fiscal Year Starts on December 1st and ends on November 30th. Thus we have End if Q.1 held on the last working day of February, Half Year on the last working day of May etc.

I hope this helps you understand the workings of the 'Temple of Doom'.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Red Cosmic Skywalker (dream)

It seems I find myself on some sort of long drive, with a lot of people, in some sort of community bus; I find it rather boring as a mere passenger, and seek permission from those in charge to drive at least part of the way back. However, I feel afraid that the roads look rather slippery, icy, dangerous and wet, so I do not take on this responsibility, and arrive back at our hotel feeling I have missed some sort of opportunity (to prove myself?).
Have also given Neurocam the big flick; how could I write a report, when I didn't bother turning up? The game seemed all too complex, and silly, and I don't like the idea of someone judging me when I don't know what for, so I decided to save them the bother and jump before they pushed me (not unrelated to above dream, perhaps?).

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Freyja, the great Dis, head of the Disir or goddesses and female ancestors Posted by Hello

Friday, April 22, 2005

Word of the day ;-))


1a. The use of obstructionist tactics, especially prolonged speechmaking, for the purpose of delaying legislative action. b. An instance of the use of this delaying tactic. 2. An adventurer who engages in a private military action in a foreign country.
Inflected forms: fil·i·bus·tered, fil·i·bus·ter·ing, fil·i·bus·ters
1. To use obstructionist tactics in a legislative body. 2. To take part in a private military action in a foreign country.
To use a filibuster against (a legislative measure, for example).
From Spanish filibustero, freebooter, from French flibustier, from Dutch vrijbuiter, pirate. See

Thursday, April 21, 2005

A toast to the "inner Rosa Parkes" in us all!

A toast to the "inner Rosa Parkes" in us all! Posted by Hello I find it so inspiring when someone decides, not violently or aggressively, but quietly and calmly, to stand up for themselves and not take any more "shit": it seems the essence of true empowerment, to externalise in realistic and appropriate ways, as opposed to internalizing, and feeling you don't deserve any better. And I don't even mind getting this song stuck in my brain (as Davo reckons, "How come I can get songs stuck in my brain, but not my iPod?"), because I reckon that beginning today under the aegis of Athena/Medusa may have had something to do with it. This seems what such "virgin warrior goddesses" truly represent, deep down! "Freedom", in the sense of that freedom, which even Americans still have to 'fight' for and win, to make their own ;-))

George's study: a real mage's room, imho ;-)) Posted by Hello

George's room: a work of art in itself, imho ;-)) Posted by Hello

George's magickal painting 3 Posted by Hello

George's magickal painting 2 Posted by Hello

George's magickal painting 1 Posted by Hello

Introducing and showcasing George, another Wyrdling

Can you find the dragon?

It seems a shame George's paintings languish in the vaults of wyrd_crossings, so here I dust them off, with his permission, and let them see the light of day again ;-))

In George's own words: "Somebody bought that painting when it was hanging on the wall of my home. I'm still sorry I sold it. The priest with the sword that took 1st place in a Star Trek convention, category horror and the "Druid Tree" that took 2nd, same category. That was 1979."

I will let you solve the mystery of which paintings he refers too! ;-))

Athena and Medusa Posted by Hello

Omg, the synchronicities fly thick and fast; cyber-Tarot for today no less than the Pope: "Tendency to cling to ideas and principles even if outdated. A person to whom one has recourse (or not). Conformity. A religious or spiritual leader. A person with a sense of historical importance." And the Glasshouse does the Save Toby fund!! lol Su's Chaos Magickal website. Brilliant graphics, and a showcase of Aussie Chaos at its finest. I felt especially moved by the story of Jenny ("Enduring Mind"), and, also under "Letters to Strangers", illuminated by the explorations of the mythology of Medusa. They really explain a lot (thanks, Su!), as in why Athena should suddenly attract me to paint her (current magickal work in progress) with a Medusa medallion around her warrior neck: at first I felt disloyal to Medusa in so doing, but now I know that Athena represents in fact a form of Medusa herself, I no longer feel such an aversion to her (the only one I felt among all the goddesses!); the warrior maiden goddess wears an image of herself as her own talisman! I find it also nice to know that Athena seems not the "daddy's girl" I took her for, but comes herself from an ancient female lineage ;-))

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

how I felt on receiving application for divorce (on grounds of separation) yesterday Posted by Hello

What will continue even after the divorce goes through  Posted by Hello

The bad in what really gives me the shits?

Just yesterday a formal filing for divorce (on grounds of separation) came in from Bjorn Erik, mostly drawn up by his parents (he just signed one bit): I have no idea whether this idea really came from him, or whether they talked him into it, catching him in a moment of weakness, and I have 3 weeks to reply (from the 7th of April, date of letter). Of course, if I do not reply, I presume things will just take their course anyway. I thought 3 weeks meant I had 3 weeks to write quickly to Bjorn Erik and get an answer back before finally deciding, but that seems not an option... They also posted it on my birthday: nice way of saying "happy birthday", eh? But then our timing always had an element of the uncanny, as when they hospitalized him one day before our first anniversary, and deported him from here one day before my birthday (2000)... Oh, well, even if they dissolve the legal relationship, they cannot take his name away from me; I will remain a Pedersen till I die, still dreaming of Norway as "home", and the love will remain, regardless :-((
The good news? I seem still under consideration for the shortlisting for the school counsellor job :-))

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

My turn to (semi-lucidly) dream ;-))

In my dream it seems as if, I feel, at first, terribly guilty over having destroyed two "letters" or comments on someone's blog, on purpose too, although my shame seems more to do with her springing me and sending me an angry email than guilt over the act itself; in a semi-lucid(?) state, I seem to lie awake half the night, wondering whether I really have done this, and why and whether technology really allows these things to happen. The person offended seems "Mrs Ansur" as I destroyed the "letter" comments off a blog owned jointly by her and Ansur, and I banish myself to some long, distant travels, also fleeing my mum, it seems, until I come (by bicycle?) to my mum's house, and peek in out of sheer curiosity; my mum does not seem there, but my sister comes down the stairs wearing a long blue flowery dress of mine (that I wore in the early summer days in Norway, prenuptially) and I leave quickly before she sees me, either... Then I return to Norway, and feel very confused and anxious because as a student I have to start a new semester in some totally unfamiliar subject, in a language not my own, and I attempt to settle into my "digs" cosily, with a small bird in a cage for company, that seems to amuse a small child, who reminds me of baby Josh... I spend much of the time fussing over and protecting this small bird, and taking it to show shopkeepers etc. Finally we begin the semester with much fanfare; they have transformed the "digs" into some sort of lecture amphitheatre, and now I feel concerned about some sort of purplish weed taking over everywhere; I show an American woman what it will soon do to the little pond down below with the aid of a graphic display of its purplish seeds, stuck in an "artistic" abstract arrangement on a piece of bread...
Comments: yes, I know this dream seems rather long and rather complicated but the main point for me seems the semi-lucidity earlier in the dream, in which I wondered whether I dreamt or not, and also how it evolved away from my own concerns (guilt, anxiety, shame, family) to wider "global" concerns such as protecting the bird and telling people about the "dangers of the weed"... o O (a clue to interpretation right there, Sebi?) lol
The two "letter"/comments => the last two letters that finished up my mum and me, so "Mrs Ansur", whom I know not at all, seems confabulated with her.
Blog comments => her reading what I had written about her, and then my wishing she hadn't (wanting to "destroy" them before she saw them?).

Monday, April 18, 2005

What the Bleep Do We Know?

oy, what the bleep do we know? Posted by Hello
Yeh, what more can I say than that Sebi, another buddy and I have all checked out this movie, and yes, it will also blow your socks off! lol
(I could say a lot more, but will refrain, until people further comment)...The only difference between a paranoid schizophrenic and a mystic seems that a mystic knows when to shut up (on occasion!) ;-))

Sunday, April 17, 2005

My little pretties! ;-))

fruit bats Posted by Hello
As you can see from this photo, bats form extremely sociable and tight-knit communities, and also model for us the type of prosocial, helping behavior known as "reciprocal altruism", i.e. "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" - at least the blood-sucking ones do, taking it in turns to "shout" each drinks. Not too sure if that also applies to fruit bats or not, but I could not resist the pic! I have put in both these pics in honour of MBat (see email) ;-))

Small Chiroptera: the shamanic animal medicine par excellence

Despite their resemblance to rodents , bats seem not closely related to mice at all. Though their exact placement seems still uncertain, scientists believe from recent evidence that they may bear a closer relationship to the primates, i.e. us! Whatever their relationships, bats have succeeded highly as groups of mammals: we have counted nearly 1,000 species of bats around the world, making up about one quarter of all mammal species.
Posted by Hello

Holy Bat out of Hell in my belfry, Batman!! ;-))

Dear Claire,
I meant to go take a look at your blog after you left me some spiffy flattering comments on my Extispicy blog a couple or so weeks back, but I've been pretty bogged down in boring stuff lately, so I only just had the time earlier today to peruse around and poke through your blog. Good stuff! And I've blogrolled you in return.
Enjoyed all the tarot and magick/mystical stuff you talk about. I've been quite deeply into all that for eons, but I just don't talk about it a lot online on my site or blog -- I had some stuff up once in my half-abandoned kinda hidden "Oracle of Pipistrelli" section of many years ago, but I got kinda tired of getting email from teenages telling me they wanna learn all about the occult or the tarot asking me to tell them all about it and then also all those earnest emails from Xtians sending me soul-saving advice.
Actually, even the articles I wrote years ago on the herb wormwood (on Sepulchritude's absinthe section) still oddly gets me earnest emails from Xtians, too, as apparently they bloody named some star in Revelations wormwood, although I've since heard from a Greek bible scholar that the translation of the star's name has been in linguistic scholarly dispute ever since it was first translated. I was amused to see in one of your recent blog entries the couple of rituals you referenced from the Autonomatrix site. I was once a member of that group (about ten or so years ago). Technically, I still am a member as I never formally quit and being a so-called "solo practitioner" in the group pretty much means I'm not required to be sociable or communicate like those in working groups are anyway. Heh. Actually, a lot of the group simply has fallen apart from the looks of the mailing list forum -- a few people still keep up, but I think a lot of the members, especially the old members, have probably just settled into their own sub-circles that are more geographically convenient.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I was actually the one who wrote the Baudelaire's Drunk rite (most of the literary-oriented rites up on the AX are likely to have been ones I worked on -- I was using what I called the Dead Author paradigm. Something I never wrote up formally, but should have.) I think I wrote 13 rites over the time I was a more active participant in the group. The rites on the Autonomatrix don't give the author(s)' attribution on any of the rites. although there is a complicated key somewhere else on the AX site that cross lists authors with the rites and with the author's magick names or pseudonyms.
Did you find the AX site from some link on my sites somewhere (or find my site from a link on the AX site)? Or was that just a weird synchronitic coincidence? Somehow, in a short period of time, you did seem to stumble on seemingly all my disparate crap online and have made nice mentions of them in your blog! But from reading some of your blog, perhaps this is not so coincidental. We do seem to have quite a lot of interests and tastes in common. So, I simply wanted to drop ya a note to say howdy to an apparent kindred spirit! So. Howdy! cheers, Bat -- ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong." -- Bertrand Russell

Friday, April 15, 2005

We are such stuff as dreams are made on

Just for Sebi...some completely gratuitous full frontal nudity! (kouros from the Athens museum, with apologies to Iris Murdoch) Posted by Hello

Amazing Spiderman Theme Song Lyrics

Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies
Look Out! Here comes the Spiderman.

Is he strong? Listen bud,
He’s got radioactive blood.
Can he swing from a thread
Take a look overhead
Hey, there
There goes the Spiderman.

In the chill of night
At the scene of a crime
Like a streak of light
He arrives just in time.
Spiderman, Spiderman
Friendly neighborhood Spiderman
Wealth and fame
He’s ignored
Action is his reward.
To him, life is a great big bang up
Whenever there’s a hang up
You’ll find the Spider man.

The Dark Horse of the Apocalypse?

Visit today, and give a free click! Posted by Hello

Shamans say, if you look into the eyes of the jaguar, you can see the future ;-))

Try this one on for size: I have heard a vicious rumor that Australian archbishop George Pell could amount to a "dark horse" in the running of the next papal election, just when you thought popes could not get any worse! I have also heard it prophesied (in Nostradamus, or Fatima, or somewhere?) that the last pope could signify the second last... so what does that make Pell (or the next pope) but, not so much the Rabbit, or even the Four biblical Horsemen, as the Dark Horse of the Apocalypse? ;-P

Ta da! The newest addition to the blogosphere

If you want to know about this strange person Ansur, whom I have quoted on my blog recently, go to He has a slight case of the cyberglitches at the moment, but hopefully he will get over them soon, and I don't think you can catch them! ;-))

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Red Magnetic Dragon, galactic activation portal

Hughsey (aka Davo) says: Not happy this week, people: the pope's funeral delayed the footy... and we already knew the results! Posted by Hello

And re the supposedly "un-American" activities of the Wiggles: why should Americans object to the supposedly annoying voices of Australians (who, Hughesy? lol)? I had a son who grew up pronouncing the last letter of the Alphabet Song "zee", due to the influence of Sesame St! ;-P

Damn, I wanted to post another email conversation from wyrd_crossings for your delectation, since Mercury going direct seems to have opened the floodgates there as well, but it seems to have vanished off my clipboard in making the wyrd crossing to Blogger! Maybe some things just don't want me to post them ;-P

I will just post Ansur's little story, instead, as that seems all that has survived intact, and goes well with today's "dragon" theme, anyway ;-))

Omg, Ansur has something there: Yellowstone really seems the next supervolcano to go off; see!

Our Interesting Past, as Interpreted by Ansur
INTERPRETATION: About 65 Million years ago, Tyrannosaurus Ansurus, the first and only semi-intelligent dinosaur, discovered a technique called Chaos Magic. Actually, it wasn't really called that, it was pronounced more like, 'Grrr Gruffff' in those days. Unfortunately, instead of "Calling Forth", or "Calling Up", T. Ansurus discovered a technique now named "Downvoking" and the Asteroid known as 'Ceres Feces' hit the Pangaea Delta - which fanned out across the Elusive Plains. And so the Sh__ really hit the fan! Therefore and it came to pass, brethren and sisters, that the dinosaurs, except for politicians, became extinct. Over the next millions of years the Great Goddess monkeyed around with various different forms of intelligent life, finally settling on Gigantis Pithicantus, now known as the Sasquatch or Yeti. But a smaller, dimmer-witted ape-like species, Homo Moginized, a failed experiment, slipped through the cracks and into dark caves where it flourished and grew with the mushrooms. So by the time GP evolved into the Netherandrials (called that because they settled in the Netherlands), the now evolved Homo Sapiens were already there and setting up fast food restaurants.
FACT: Over 75,000 years ago, Homo sapiens, which evolved in Africa -not in the"Fertile Crescent" as was once preached in some churches, reached an intellectual level somewhat comparable to what we have now. But around 70,000 years ago a gigantic volcano, known as a Super Volcano erupted and changed the earth's climate for several years. Africa and mankind was plunged into a drought so severe that the human race was almost wiped out! In fact, from the DNA evidence, it is predicted that only about 2000 individuals survived. Our species almost became extinct! According to some reliable scientists Yellow Stone Park, located in Montana,USA, is the next Super Volcano that will go off. The hundreds of thousands of humans living at that time died and only the smartest and cleverest survived. This culled our species, leaving only the most fit and intelligent. (But I slipped past anyway). (Sometimes being sneaky is better than being smart).
INTERPRETATION: When, 45,000 years ago, the African humans migrated into Europe and replaced the "Neths" already there, other migrations to other parts of the world also began. But the Big Foot creatures retreated to the wilderness of the forests - because they couldn't dance without stepping on their partner's big feet! In olden times before firearms, the Yeti often raided the villages and scared the villagers so much that the European homos turned white! And so it happened - I swear it is so! The morals of this story is that: Do not dance if your feet are too big, stay away from volcanoes, and never ever downvoke or listen to people who swear! Ansur

On wyrd_crossings, we have an Ansur for everything, folks! lol

Diwali (Festival of lights), crescent moon

We need a little Diwali (Festival of Lights) right this very minute, we need a little Diwali now...Goddess Lakshmi, come to visit us! Posted by Hello

Omg, this picture sparkled in its original bitmap format; it doesn't sparkle any more since I had to change it to jpeg to upload it, but what the hey? When I saw that today's Tarot turned out to be the (dreaded) 9 of Swords (beware clinical depression, with suicidal tendencies?), I felt that I do, at least, need a little Diwali, right this very minute... Hopefully the Goddess will bring some light to my darkened soul ;-))

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Yellow Cosmic Sun (an email conversation on wyrd_crossings)

NArdS (also Victorian):
Dates have never had any significance for me, although very little ever happens on my birthday, which is usually the least newsworthy date of the year.


Mine seemed on the whole rather quiet and even less newsworthy than usual, yesterday (ho hum, I find myself less and less thrilled by the concept of birthdays; after all, what do they mean but the annual return of the sun to the point it occupied at one's birth, in other words, a solar return, as in "many happy returns"? Possible piece of pagan, astrological lore that snuck into common English usage there!). It was the first birthday (rapidly approaching the half-century mark) where I discovered it truly more blessed to give than receive, i.e. I 'gave away' (Native American Turkey medicine) two 'presents' of presence, one in terms of making an X-men figure 'come alive' in a colouring book for a non-speaking, but not uncommunicative intellectually disabled adult, and the other in terms of feng shui challenge (environmental counselling, as I think it translates from the Chinese)! Who said colouring books could not also amount to works of art? Who said in 'giving' we do not also 'receive'?

I did go into a tail-spin of! when someone wished that I "live till 100"...what, live to be more than twice as old as I find myself now? Surely you jest!


I once encountered a mage of some repute, who periodically kept a perpetual diary. He had kept it for several years and recorded his daily events for a few months and then would fall out of the habit. He commented to me abut the synchronicity of events which would occur on the same day several years running, or that would become obvious years after the events have occurred.


One day, people will look back on my blog and say the same thing, NArDs? I found the really spooky synchronicity for yesterday in the Mayan calendar, namely, that it fell on a day of the Blue Crystal Storm, in a Blue Crystal Storm year, so that has to mean something, and I will keep the affirmation for yesterday permanently in my email signature, at least until Mayan New Year (July 26th) in remembrance of that ;-))

The really good news for everybody? Mercury nows goes straight, as opposed to retrograde, so now everyone's communications should run a lot more smoothly, and with less delays ;-))

Ansur, Oregon:

As my Guru once told me, existence is cyclic and we live in circles within circles. For example, we and many other living things respond to the cycles of the moon. According to some, the moon's cycles create great power during certain phases--which many magic users exploit. But in my studies on such things, I found that instead of the crime rate and/or the birthing process going max during the full moon as has been reported, they actually lag the full moon by several days.


Yeh, but on the other hand, many surgeons refuse to operate on full moon, because patients bleed more under the knife: what is wet becomes wetter and you will also find it tends to rain more at full moon, whatever the season! Also, check psychiatric hospitals and telephone counselling agencies: they don't call them 'loonies' for nothing! lol


There are also solar cycles (seasonable), solar system cycles (astrology), galactic cycles, and universal cycles--all intertwined and working in concert or against each other.


*little wheels spin and spin, the big wheels turn around and around* (Buffy Ste Marie), Ansur: and the Mayan calendars with their multilayered resonances help you appreciate this, so that "time" (a four-letter word) really does become "art"! ;-))

I love all your above ideas, and actually think I'm going to adopt the former. As far as the New Orleans funeral, I caught a glimpse of some such thing on tv once (a real one, not in a sitcom or something) and was utterly taken with it. And the music! I've wanted that ever since. I wonder how to organize it.

As I have said, I wanted a Viking funeral (you know, where they burn your body in a longboat on a fjord), but I have heard they have now made them illegal! ;-P Interestingly the Blue Crystal Storm does combine the powers of "universal water" and "universal fire", so in a spooky, unconscious kind of way, I kind of anticipated that too? ;-))

Should we call our funeral our real "birthday"? Catholics do, because they date saints' days from the person's so-called death-day ;-))

Not sure who asked this:
Has anyone here ever had the experience of knowing an anniversary for a date that hadn't happened yet but when it did there was some accuracy in what they knew would happen?

I don't know, but when my favorite angel cup broke a week before my most fateful Good Friday, I knew something bad would happen! ;-P
Maybe it comes of having one's solar return around, in and out of the movable feast of "Easter" (as silly down under as Yule, cos it falls in autumn not spring!) ("Father, take this cup from me"?) ;-P

When I was 13 I began having this conviction that on the date August 13 2004, when I would be 26, I would kill myself. This became a huge part of my personal mythology and understanding of myself and how I see myself in this life. My assessment of what would happen changed several times and several people in my life attempted to make me believe that it was complete delusion and I almost did. However when that date came last summer I did a ritual to honour it and was aware that major changes were coming. It turns out that in a lot of ways I did end up killing myself (just not physically) and the events that led to that began right after August 13 2004, so somehow at age 13 I was aware that this would happen right at that time. Has anybody else had experiences similar to this?

August 13 (I forget what year, but a bloody long time ago, before my time!) happened to be the beginning of the Mayan "long count" calendar, which ends in 2012, Athena, so maybe that did signify in some way the beginning of the rest of your life? ;-))

Speaking of "delusional" prophecies, in 1999, I did my annual Jan. 1 Tarot reading for Bjorn Erik and me; he got it into his head (I did not say this) that something bad would happen on the 10th of the 10th that year (a "square day", NArdS?). As the 10/10 approached, he became increasingly agitated and anxious, to the point where he hospitalized himself for fear of either "hurting someone or someone hurting him", really badly... That Sunday, we two sat in the waiting room of the hospital and literally "waited", like those famous little existential angels looking up at the sky, as featured in my angel calendar for that month, and waited for the sky to fall... It didn't! Talk about existential, anti-climax Sunday, lol!

Dreams, visions, and Tarot Cards, all say I am going to die in 3 years. I hope they are all wrong!

A psychic also told Bjorn Erik that his life would "magically" improve when he turned 30, Ansur, and this too became a major part of his personal mythology: when he turned 30, he became permanently and chronically hospitalized! ;-P

My favorite movie, "What the Bleep Do We Know?!" opened in Australia on March 24th and will be in theaters there at least through April. If you want to witness most of my current personal philosophy--just for kicks--see it!

Gotta see it... ;-))

But is it necessarily a physical death? I guess the point i forgot to make is that what you think something will be can occur in a way that you did not at all expect. I would consider looking further into what that could mean if you haven't yet ( your dreams visions and tarot cards), but that's just me .

In my humble opinion, Ansur and Athena, one should NEVER interpret the Death card in particular as a physical death, cos all the Major Arcana represent "states of mind" rather than physical realities; the minor, however, represent mundane scenarios, some of which can seem more dangerous or threatening than others... (Beware the 9 of Swords, as possible clinical depression, with suicidal tendencies?) ;-))

I have found myself in a "Death" state of mind myself lately, and find it no more morbid or suicidal than the leaves falling off the trees in autumn... although the "suicidal tree" in Monty Python's Meaning of Life does spring to mind! lol

The Rev Jen:
Astrological readings, tarot cards, and the like have all told me that I was going to get married "in two years." They've been saying this exact same thing since 1991. Maybe they meant two Uranian years. ;)


Maybe, -- jsw, lol! (That would mean 84 years.) But in any case one should take all "predictions" with a very large grain of temporal salt, because in this relative space-time continuum, not to mention multiverse, they can only "predict" what seems the most likely outcome from present indicators, and energies, which certainly never rules out that other indicators and energies cannot and do not intervene! ;-))

Um, also forget who said this (someone else):
We walked deeper and deeper into the woods, following any impressions that we got, listening for odd phenomena... but we had no success in this endeavor. It was actually like the entire woods were spiritually dead. Calming, but we couldnt feel, sense, or notice any activity going on (and we're a fairly sensitive bunch of folks!)

Me:! Speaking of "suicidal trees" just now... My Psi Q really has escalated lately? ;-))

Someone else (again):
Im considering learning the things. I've heard some people use it to great effect, but I also have known people who swear its shit. Also. Myth or not? buying Tarot Cards is a good way to curse them.

Hehe, I never bought Tarot cards: the first lot I made, myself, over a period of years; the second lot the universe handed to me, brand-new and unused, still in their wrapper: of course I did a cautionary cleansing anyway... But I find those ones HOT!!! And I don't mind the fact that the minor cards just have 'pips' on them, cos if I get stuck, I can mentally refer back to my own customised Tarot for images, which help... ;-))

I wonder however if one can also curse a Ouija board by buying it? ;-P

Dreams, visions, and Tarot Cards, all say I am going to die in 3 years. I hope they are all wrong!

---I mean this as encouragement, not insult... Ansur, fortune tellers divine the future. Mages create it for themselves.

Yeh, ---Bridgett, as in the fact that using E-prime also helps to take a more active command over your life, rather than seeing yourself as the victim of passive predictions, and forces! Personally, I enjoyed my little bit of 'Pisces energy' birthday magick, which incidentally also got my rose quartz fountain flowing again (long dormant feng shui bonus: being Pisces, it would have to awaken the energies of water!)... The goddesses Ix Chel (Mayan moon goddess) and Durga also helped ;-))

Someone else:
I currently own six different decks, three of which I purchased myself. I'm not aware of any taboos regarding buying your own deck. As with all my magical tools, I choose them based on instinct.

For the cyber-Tarot of the day, also see my blog
(in the sidebar): and that has also seen some striking synchronicities of late! Completely uncursed by anyone's definition, because completely free, and if you want, you can also, for free, opt for a more in-depth reading ;-))

If you want a more personal touch, get me on Yahoo Messenger arachne6662004 and I will do you a free IJJ reading, with or without webcam! And I promise, no predictions of either "death" or "marriage"! lmao

Love, Dragonwizard
"I tell you, in order to give birth to a dancing star, you must have chaos in you. And I tell you, you - you have chaos within you!" - Nietzsche
"I dedicate in order to catalyze,
Universalizing energy.
I seal the matrix of self-generation
With the crystal tone of cooperation.
The power of magick guides me."

Monday, April 11, 2005

Blue Crystal Storm day in Blue Crystal Storm has to mean something! Posted by Hello

Blue Crystal Storm
Green Central Castle of Enchantment
Earth family- Gateway Clan- Sky
Guide of the Day, effecting Outcome: Blue Monkey (CHUEN) Plays and emphasizes Magic.
Antipode of the Day, the Challenging focus Red Moon (MULAC)
Purifies and emphasizes Universal Water.The seal for the Antipode of the day enhances the oracle reading with Challenging power (strengthening memory, reconstruction).
Occult of the Day, the Hidden power White Wind (IK) Communicates and emphasizes Spirit.The seal for the Occult of the day enhances the oracle reading with Hidden power (the unexpected).
Analog of the Day, the Like-Minded power Yellow Sun (AHAU) Enlightens and emphasizes Universal Fire.The seal for the Analog of the day enhances the oracle reading with Like-Minded power (galactic-solar planetary power).
This equates to my mantra in the coming year: "I dedicate in order to catalyze
Universalizing energy
I seal the matrix of self-generation
With the crystal tone of cooperation
The power of magic guides me."

courtesy Starroot's Dreamspell 13 Moon Calendars Download Oracle - offline version

The Queen holds her cup outward, as if to present it to a friend as a gift of trust. She will know within herself, psychologically, that the person to whom she awards the cup is worthy of it. A tiger strides behind her. Her rank is designated by the cat head on her hair.
Posted by Hello
I often chose this card as a favorite significator (representing myself) in the Tarot, and I find this Cat People Tarot version enchanting! Boy, that Tiger does not muck around, when he sneaks into your medicine wheel one lunar month... Maybe I attracted him with my mention of "Tiger Tiger Burning Bright" in my blog description, but he seems rapidly becoming a new power animal of mine, as yang as they come, as per the Chinese (polar opposite of Monkey, and traditional arch-nemesis, too! lol). I always fancied myself as some kind of Queen of Hearts (women have limited options when choosing Tarot significators, because the Tarot restricts them often to Queens,when men have both Kings and Knights to choose from; the junior court card generally represents a child, or perhaps the "inner child", of either sex: I can feel Sebi's ears prick up at this!). Interesting that the Cat People Tarot calls her both poetic, and maternal (Josh resurfaces for my birthday?). I sort of figured him as the "significant encounter" prefigured for that day! Re holding the cup out in trust to someone worthy of it: I have learnt, and quite recently too, not to trust everyone as worthy of it, and that seems an important learning curve too!
Another sign of "cat" influence lately: I also wanted to buy, if any, Katja's blue Burmese moggy pic, Polandra(?), named after the sorceress in the David Eddings books by the way... Correct me if I err, which I feel I probably have. But her blue moggy represented, to me, the best, simplest and most appealing of her animal pics, and she did inspire me with her ibises to do Thoth! (Cats and the moon: now there is a connection - see W.B.Yeats' poem on The Cat and the Moon: "and the cat lifts to the changing moon his changing eyes"). Jaguar, also in my medicine wheel this month, diametrically opposite Tiger (a tripped-out Dali tiger, btw), may of course also have something to do with it ;-))

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Living will (e-prime corrected)

I, Claire Pedersen, of sound mind and body at this point, do not wish anyone to keep me alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should anyone put my fate in the hands of peckerwood, ethically-challenged politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, Margarita, Bloody Mary, Martini, Rum & Coke, shot of Wild Turkey, etc., or even a smoke, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When suitably qualified persons should reach such a determination, I hereby instruct my son Joshua Hayward and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. Under no circumstances shall the hypocritical members of the Legislature (State or Federal) enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. I wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Australians who do not find themselves in a permanent coma. Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they try to scrounge for, I wish only that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace. I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too. If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.

Duly signed this day by my own hand: Claire Pedersen (hopefully this binds it legally!)

Claire's theme - Until the End of the World

Omg, you can find my audioclip in here somewhere?

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Berserk Warriors, ABBA, Mental as Anything

Berserk Warriors - Mental As Anything
This tribute song, recorded and released by Australian band Mental As Anything in September 1981, tells the story of two "Vikings", based on Björn and Agnetha's divorce. The first 3,000 copies of the single featured a handmade paper sleeve with the fingerprints of the band members and a rubber stamp bearing the title of the song.

Berserk Warriors

Björn is just a Viking
He is very handy with a sword
He loves nothing better
Than to cut and slash right through a horde

Mutilation, jubilation
Friendly muscles, in a tussle

Anna's a girl Viking

She is very handy with a spear
She won't wear silk stockings
Armour-plated garments are her sphere

In the fjords you can hear them
Eerie horns blow
Viking love show
Björn and Anna earn their leisure

They have each other for their pleasure
Björn is on his longship
He and Anna fought it out today
he says it is their Waterloo
Vikings shouldn't mix their work and play
all that blonde hair
For them to share
So much plunder
Cut asunder
Now when Björn and Anna see each other

It's on the battlefield, not as lovers...
Those Vikings love to fight and play

Fighting berserk warriors hey hey

Words and music by Peter O'Doherty © 1981 Syray
Catalogue number K-8594 (Regular/Festival) released 1981
'Berserk Warriors' also appeared on Mental As Anything's LP Cats And Dogs (1981)

Check this, earthlings; the real Ford Prefect, not black but white; not that I have anything against black people in or out of movies, but get it right: the new movie bears about as much resemblance to the real Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as the movie version of the Addams Family to the real Addamses! ;-P Posted by Hello

We know Zaphod Beeblebrox as the coolest dude in the known universe, but he has two heads, ok? If anyone is not cool with that... Posted by Hello

...Marvin will come around and read your personality dysfunctions to thirty-two decimal places!  Posted by Hello

Durga, Awesome Mother

Durga, Awesome Mother: meditate on her this new moon solar eclipse Posted by Hello

Durga, often called the Inaccessible, comprises the trinity of goddesses with Uma and Parvati. A beautiful yellow woman with ten arms, she carries a trident, sword, drum and bowl of blood. She rides a lion (or a tiger, as in this lunar month) and uses the gods' weapons to defend them from demons. Her sacred festivals take place in Bengali in the autumn. The opening phrase of the national anthem of India praises her. She represents a kind of fierce, protective mother defending her young.

"Behold, the Divine Mother comes to defend her children.
Her great, just wrath opposes all who would oppress me.
She lifts trident and sword in my defence.
Ruin comes to all those who would persecute all people
who call upon the Goddess."

Burn incense, relax and visualize yourself standing in a Hindu temple. Climb the seven steps leading up to the open door and go inside. There you find a huge statue of Durga. As you walk across the floor, she suddenly comes to life, steps down to meet you, dances across the floor and sweeps you into her arms. She kisses your forehead, and sings her magick songs of defence and protection. Her words become visible, sailing out from the temple. You do not see where they are going, nor can you direct them. She lifts you into her lap as she sits on the altar once more. She speaks to you about your problems, giving divine wisdom and guidance. Listen...

When she finishes, she sets you on the floor and dances her magick dance. When you feel once more firm in your body, chant:

"Comfort me, Mother.
Reveal to me your plan behind the cycle of my life.
Lift my grief and despair.
Help me to better understand your great powers.
Give me faith in your goodness and greatness."

Thank her for her help and wisdom.
- from Moon Magick, D.J.Conway.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Terry Schiavo

Bishop (renegade) Spong's homily raises some really interesting questions, and imho believers and non-believers alike should peruse it diligently! You should also consider the fact of both Terry Schiavo and John Paul II under the aegis of both these souls choosing to leave the earth plane (whether voluntarily or involuntarily remains a moot point, at least in Terry's case) this, sacred to Christians, season of Easter ;-P

Here is another (photo)blogger who evidently senses a connection:

Bishop Spong writes: "Dear Friends,The following are excerpts from the voluminous mail I received on the two columns dealing with the issues around the Terri Schiavo case."

John Ripley from Beamsville, Ontario, Canada, writes:I agree with much of what Harry Cook writes though I find the tone of his article very strident. In February I took a trip to Florida and listened to my car radio. The vitriol I heard on the airwaves was appalling. Hates seem to run very deep. There is no room for intelligent debate, just the emotional tirade of the radical right. Cook's article comes close to a liberal rant in my book. Its aggressive tone does not speak to me in the spirit of Christian love. There are too many shades in gray in human intercourse to have simplistic solutions to our problems.

Jack Olsen, via the Internet, writes:Why are we wasting precious resources? We're keeping her from "God's Kingdom" artificially at huge cost while we're denying basic services to abused and neglected children because we "can't afford it." Put the money into the abused kids and give them the things that will break the cycle of hopelessness. Don't keep me on some feeding tube when my mind is already gone and divert resources away from my son, who has this wonderful life ahead of him and may need some help along the way with the ghosts of his past.

Ed Spire of Houston, Texas, writes:As to knowing what God wants - I feel that Harry Cook sidestepped that question. The point is that anybody can think they have been told by God what God wants and who is to say who's credible and who isn't? Stating that brain death ends life can carry no weight for those who believe in an eternal soul and its attachment to a living body. To say that we are being unmerciful to Terri by "denying food and water" in this case is just silly. No one denies Terri food or water - she can have all she wants. But she cannot eat by herself. She can't even ask for help. By anyone's standards, opening a hole in the body and piping in pre-chewed food is an extreme measure and not taking such an extreme measure would only be characterized as "withholding food and water" by extreme people who are out of touch with reality.

Anne Dawson, a clinical social worker, from Birmingham, Alabama, writes:Terri is not starving to death...she cannot swallow at all and would drown if offered water or an ice cube...the feeding tube is not putting food in her stomach, only electrolytes and nutrients, she can't enjoy the taste of food or even chew it. Her cerebral cortex is gone and with it her cognitive abilities...meaning that she cannot think at all.
It's a sad day for America for Congress to vote for us to allow them to walk into our front door and tell us what is and is not good for us. This has happened because those people who have agendas wanted to get that "on the record" as they say in the congress and by a president who espouses less government involvement in our lives.

Ann Reed on the Internet writes:I find the essay by Harry Cook admirable and generally believable. However, I wish that he (and many others) would stop mis-quoting Emerson and I also wish that he had not equated PVS with brain-dead. Still I thank him for his enlightened and well-put convictions.

Zaheer from Karachi, Pakistan, writes:I am a non-Christian subscriber with an immense interest in Religious Philosophy. As a staunch supporter of euthanasia, my own take on the Schiavo matter is that the tube removal will lead to a prolonged and, probably painful dying process, while euthanasia's purpose, to my mind, has always been to allow a quick death to end the suffering of the patient. I cannot seem to equate the process being suggested with the philosophy. By linking and blurring the issue to seem like a clear euthanasia decision when, in reality, a political agenda is the over-riding factor.

Paula Zurcher via the Internet writes:Wonderfully inspiring article by Harry Cook. Suppose Terri is still alive when her parents die, do they think the tube should be removed then? A friend of mine near the end of her life said to me, "I love death!" I asked her why? She answered, "It's so democratic."

E. Sauer from Plymouth Meeting, Pa, writes:As Roman Catholics I suspect that Terri's parents not only love her, believe she is "in there" and may fear her immortal soul is in danger of damnation...even the Pope was quoted as commenting that removing the feeding tube is tantamount to artificially taking her life without anyone commenting that inserting the tube in the first place could be ascertained as artificially interfering with "God's will" and "the time to die."

Mark Boyd from Michigan writes:Could you please tell me where Harry T. Cook's church is located? I hope he is close to where we live. I have my fingers crossed. -- Harry is Rector of St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, 340 N. Main Street, Clawson, Michigan, 48017. JSS

Aaron H. Schechtman of North Miami Beach, Florida, writes: The fanatics look at the scenes presented by the family on videotape and weep. A chief weeper is the physician, who is interpreter-in-chief of the videos (never having examined the woman in question) Dr. Bill Frist, who seems to be thinking ahead to run for the presidency when GWB leaves his second term. The fanatics are swarming over the scene and a lot of evidence is contaminated, ignored or deliberately missed.

Jeffrey Parton, DVM writes:I am a veterinarian, own my own animal hospital, and practice high quality small companion animal medicine. As someone who has the legal ability to euthanize my patients that are suffering and have no hope for recovery, I feel I can address this topic with some understanding. Compassion knows no species boundaries. There is indeed a "time to die." I have comforted clients wrestling with the painful choice of when that time is. When I have no doubt in my mind that the time has come but the client is hesitant, sometimes all I have to do is ask one simple question, "Are you keeping your pet alive for THEIR sake or for YOUR sake because it is too painful to let go?" To me that seems to be a prolonging of a grieving process that has already been going on for 15 years.

A nurse who asked that her name not be posted writes:I am a nurse who many times has had to deal with life and death issues. I myself do not want intervention when my time comes. I am not afraid to enter the next life. I hope my family will let me go and not try to keep me alive with machines. It is a tragedy that we keep individuals alive for the sake of the family. Medicine is a wonderful thing but there must be limits. Today's medicine is also money motivated with no regard for the individual's right to die. Even if we put in writing that we do not want extraordinary means used to keep us alive, the family can overturn this desire. In many ways physicians are to blame. They many times give false hope. I wonder sometimes if people keep their family members alive out of some sort of guilt.

Dawn, via the Internet writes:Amen to Harry Cook's guest column. When modern medicine first began, these same folk who are clamoring for Ms. Schiavo to be forced to continue to live, opposed modern medicine as against God's wishes and accused the practitioners of idol worship, i.e. of playing God. When prisoners refuse to eat, forced feeding through methods similar to those employed for Terri are regarded as "cruel and unusual punishment." It isn't God keeping her alive, but selfish parents who won't let her move on to the next higher form of existence, just to satisfy their own needs. Most people are not afraid of death, they are merely afraid of the dying process.

Maria Evans, via the Internet, writes:Harry Cook has managed to express exactly how I feel about all this from a spiritual side. When people are on the journey from this world to the next, "light and the tunnel" seem to be common themes. For 15 years this poor woman could have been trapped in the "tunnel" with the light at the other end but no way to get to it because they won't let her go. I am a physician and unconscious people who "return" talk about this feeling of being trapped while they were unconscious, of alternating dark and light, fueled by a variety of medications which also promote hallucinations. If I were this poor woman and my family loved me they would joyfully let me go to the light so I can fulfill my "next mission."

Karen Morgan from Canton, New York, writes:I sent an e-mail out this week with the direction to please "respong" to me as soon as possible. I like to think that I did this subconsciously. I enjoy your weekly "letters" enormously. The message from Harry Cook was very helpful to me. I was beginning to think I was some sort of monster when I shared my feelings with others, as their look of horror and their response indicated they thought I was some sort of uncaring person. I can now be assured that my thoughts and feelings are neither cruel nor unchristian.

Royce Riley from Texas writes:I'm a retired United Methodist minister. I'm in agreement with Harry Cook that this is nothing but a smoke screen. It takes the heat off of Tom DeLay for a few days; helps the Social Security issue to cool; keeps us from talking so much about Iraq. It is certainly a ploy to appease the right wing Christians and their pro-life position. I wondered why Bush could rush back to Washington to sign this bill when we had more people put to death in Texas prisons during his term than at any other time. Also, how can he sign that bill while he's sending thousands of young men and women to war and the threat of death?

Don George from Hattiesburg, Mississippi, writes:There is a fundamental misconception about life that has dominated our thinking for over two thousand years. This is the belief that life consists of a body containing a "soul" which leaves when the body dies. Therefore, we must do all we can to keep the body "alive" as long as possible. The Oriental concept that we are primarily "souls" which periodically need to occupy physical bodies in order to function in a physical environment is a more reasonable view than our Western Christian idolatry of the body. When a body is no longer a viable vehicle, it is discarded so the "soul" can move on. They destroy the non-functional physical body with fire and release the "soul." We preserve and idealize the body.
In the case of Terri Schiavo, she has been forcibly kept in the "prison" of a body that is no longer viable. I can imagine Terri crying out for 15 years, "Let me go, let me go, I don't want to stay here," but nobody heard her. That is spiritual torture.

Linda Byrd, via the Internet, writes:If I put myself in Terri Schiavo's place, what would I want? I've thought about it a lot since visiting the nursing homes as a lay Eucharistic visitor for my church. I don't want to be a forgotten person with no control over my life. With no children to "look after me in my old age" that's exactly what will happen.

Mervyn Scott of Oshawa, Ontario and Karen Scott of Bensheim, Germany write: While we support some of Harry Cook's arguments, we find them problematic. Reports in the press and on TV have stated that Ms. Schiavo is neither brain dead nor on life support systems. Furthermore, we cannot justify starvation as a way to terminate her life.

Brent Weinert, via the Internet, writes:Thank you for this article. I am glad I am not alone. I am tired of being called anti-Christian for believing that this is the humane thing to do.

Rob Hirschman from Saginaw, Michigan, writes:It felt so good to have someone tell the truth about this whole fiasco. The politicians that have involved themselves in this were shown to be first class hypocrites. Harry Cook's comments about God and our ability to understand God without any absolute proof were exactly what I have always felt.
-- John Shelby Spong

What do you think?

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

"Norwegian" wood?

omg, this might be snow melting in Austria, by Brita Lomba in South Africa, but it makes me so homesick for my little lake in Norway! :-(( Posted by Hello

She tells me in email that she actually has Norwegian origins, and might have seen this through a Norwegian much cool can a koala bear? Spooky synchronicity; "Norwegian Wood" on Spicks and Specks as we speak?!
So cool to have the first visitor pin in my guest map on the southernmost tip of Africa ;-))

Hermgirl's Tarot Blog Ring
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