Thursday, March 31, 2005

Mayan moon goddess, Ix Chel; all due credits to Posted by Hello No, but, seriously, folks, I love this Native American blog, and its links warrant checking out further: with an extraordinary number of Meso-American power animals (and past lives?), I can hardly fail to do otherwise... First you find yourself in the stillness of the South Western desert (one main area of the US I would love to visit!) with its sublimely mystic adobe constructions, then you find an image of the above Moon Goddess Ix Chel sitting on a crescent moon, cuddling, of all things, a rabbit... I cannot praise this blog highly enough, and will definitely be adding it to my blogrolling favs! Listen to some beautiful Native American music here the closest I can yet come to audioblogging! ;-))

And last but not least, the link to Crowley's Green Goddess: scroll down, if you dare!

don't we all remember Tom the Street and World Poet from somewhere? Posted by Hello

All due credit to :-))

here again, the two best-looking and most intelligent guys on TV!  Posted by Hello

Weird news from Canada, and other places

And criminal mastermind of the day:

And the world's oldest spider monkey just died, in Japan: a minute's silence, please, for Buenos, in Japan

All due credits to Dave Barry's blog! The eschaton immanentizes?

And right in our own backyard, a fascinating dramatic study of the historical repression of intelligent, creative and passionate women

David Duchovny with his director's cap on!  Posted by Hello

Hey, here you see my first celebrity AND audioblog, so excuse me if I gush a little: David Duchovny's voice coming right at ya (I so want to learn how to do that now!). But I probably won't sound as good as he does, because he has the sexiest male voice, imho, since Leonard Cohen... When do we down under get to see this "funny tragic urban fairy tale" about angels, speaking to us "in tongues", let alone the dreaded and infamous French class scene, which some reckon the best scene in the movie, although David as director has his doubts, as you will hear... ;-))

Really, really funny real-life questions about Australia ;-))

>Saw this on another group and thought a few of you might appreciate it. I can only hope that this really DID appear on an Australian tourism website. I'd like to think of it as your Dumbass Prevention System.*sigh* Now, if only we could get something similar implemented over here, there might be fewer stupid questions from the US on the list. ;) - Bridgett

"These are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a snide sense of humor.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets, especially The Taipans.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking."

lmao! Talk about ask some silly questions...! How much can a koala bear? *sides aching from laughing* Mind you, Australians do have the best sense of humor in the world, I think I can safely boast? I couldn't find my reading glasses this morning: thought a cronopio must have come in during the night and stolen them; then I found them, on the washing-up rack: the cronopio thought they needed hanging out to dry? *wonder what the news flash about the immanentization of the eschaton contained... for real!*
But the cronopios for one thing sure seem more active, and restless (never mind the Drop Bears, lol! Q. How can you tell the difference between Australia and Argentina? A. We have Drop Bears and they have cronopios; don't cry for me, Marge-and-Tina! But our Drop Bears sadly seem endangered, because they can't seem to find enough of their select type of eucalyptus leaves any more, on which they like to get stoned, hence their sleepy, heavy-lidded expressions, whereas the cronopios seem to amount to plague or epidemic proportions)... "I see movement at the station, for the cronopios have got out..." Someone translate that into Spanish and get this blog rolling! Or on the other hand, someone just shoot me? Don't you hate the morning after a "green fairy" night? Maybe the cronopios take over where the rabbit of the apocalypse left off, in the grand scheme of things ('Aeon', according to the wyrd_crossings Gestalt glossary), but at least the internal servitors seem to be behaving themselves today, and not like the gremlins of yesterday. So it does pay to be kind to your internal servitors, and feed them a hint of cached cookie once in a while, not to mention a little sip of the green fairy now and then, on special occasions... Oh, and btw, snowstone had a pretty cool theory about the white rabbit in the Matrix. *wonder if all these cryptic references will attract some strange traffic to my blog, i.e. make it a 'strange attractor', in the chaos theory sense?*

Virgo rising:
I find myself in a period where relationships have their ups and downs. My reactions to people must become steady and rational. Self-examination will show that powerful triggers tend to make me behave strangely... Behave strangely? Moi? ;-))

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

cronopio pic (Julio Cortazar) for real? Posted by Hello

But I still want to know whether it signifies a flower or some kind of Argentinian insect, for real! lol

And as for Bat: "When she was in 4th grade, her teacher gave her a bad grade in Art because he said she had too much imagination." What the bat hell does that mean?

And you gotta love this one Suffering as seriously hip? The lighter side of dark? lol

Speaking of 'healthy', don't you love old adverts advertising 'healthful' products? lol Posted by Hello

Le Poète religieux
De l'étrange absinthe se soûle,
Aspirant, - jusqu'à ce qu'il roule,
Le geste fou, la tête aux cieux,
- Le vin que l'on boit par les yeux!

-Albert Giraud, Ivresse de Lune

Now, what happened to that link to Aleister Crowley's "The Green Goddess"? (Tibetan Buddhists, eat your hearts out! With apologies to the bodhisattva Tara, for sure!)

Actually, my introduction to wormwood took the form of smoking, not drinking: a pleasant, herbal buzz, comparable to a mild marijuana (oxymoron?). But Craig, dope smoker extraordinaire, found himself sufficiently intrigued to immortalize his taste on his answering machine, lol!

Little known factoid of the day: In the final year of his life, George Washington used his pot stills to make 11,000 gallons of whiskey... What a guy! lol

For the best smut, porn, filth and decadence (with a French accent) on the net, go to I love it so much, and I would never have considered myself a pornaholic before! lol

Holy, cold, unfeeling, banker's heart, Batman, check this cool Bat blog!

White Crystal World-Bridger/Death ;-)) and other online dating agencies (I dare not call them "services"!) suck big time, because, once they have conned you into compiling an in-depth profile with free registration, you find you cannot respond to potential matches because you are not a "Gold", i.e. credit-card-carrying member; so, rascallyden or UR2Ys4ME, if by some fluke of fate or synchronicity you stumble across this blog, I feel as frustrated as you by being unable to send you back more than a robotic "ice-breaker" (they probably think those messages came from a bot by now!). I notice at least UR2 has let his membership lapse, whether deliberately or not.
In the interests of clarity of communication and understanding, I also had to give Sister Rose a brief, potted version of my weekend crisis with my mum, in case they eventually catch up again at some big Presentation function/get-together: at least Sister Rose got the Reader’s Digest version from the horse’s mouth here first, before my mum feels compelled to spill her guts. Catholic orders can represent quite tight-knit, incestuous communities, as I well know, although I feel sure the "egregore" or "spirit" of the Presentation would differ considerably from that of the Carmelites. Clarity of communication and understanding seem almost "impossible dreams" or "missions impossible" with Mercury still retrograde, but at least Sister Rose seemed her usual understanding self, although also happy to exempt herself from the "dramas" yesterday, as officially enjoying her day off! lol
Also, in case Gene Brewer (or any other Vegan) sneaks another peek at this blog, I suspect that Veganism constitutes in effect a very subtle form of speciesism, in that, while it excuses other animals for eating meat, because they "have to", it subtly sets the human species apart by claiming that we "can choose". I would simply argue that different species, and indeed different individuals within species, have different metabolic needs. You can train your cat or dog to be Vegan, for example (whether they like it or not seems debatable), but I for one find it more energy-efficient to get the bulk of my energy from a small "package" of animal protein than attempting to bulk up on unsatisfying vegetable matter. Funny how we pick and choose what we want to take from books, eh? Gene obviously wanted to convert people to Veganism with K-PAX; what I got from it seems the joy of waking up one morning, and discovering that you no longer speak the same language as your so-called "family" (and perhaps never have!) lol
And last but definitely not least, a link to a really interesting and original blog lots of metablogging, in the form of the "commandments", some of which I would want to dispute (such as not writing about your life), others of which I heartily affirm, such as linking back to people who have linked to you, cos the bloggers of the world must unite! And here endeth my personal manifesto, lol!
Tip for creative writers: the above blog also contains a link to a guide to good English usage which I could see becoming the "Bible" of any would-be creative writer, when in doubt! ;-))

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Post-resurrection dramas of an art therapist/shamanic counsellor

Now I know the "inner meaning" of why I had to go through that whole "death-and-resurrection" paradigm on the weekend: as a counsellor and shaman, it makes you that much more empathic towards the anger, pain, suffering, fear (and whole yikes! negativity thingies) of others; in fact, as a "wounded healer", it makes you able to recognise and put names on these, as you also recognise them in your own experience...In fact, I have come to the conclusion that my absolute avoidance of my family represents a necessary self-protective strategy as an empath? (I feel absolutely too bombarded with their 'vibrations' to deal with them effectively ;-P And while I employ these empathic strategies, my son probably represents the Indigo generation, so I can respect that too, as needing its own freedoms ;-)) )
At Gawith Villa, in the absence of the official art therapist, who would normally cramp my style (so to speak), it all erupted over - would you believe? football, and the disastrous loss of Collingwood (sob!) to the Western Bulldogs (Nathan Buckley had better get his act and his 'hammie' together :-(( ). Sex, politics and religion: piece of cake! Football seems the last of the great taboos and button-pushers in this society... One client nearly lost it over this, and needed restraining from doing serious injury to another; however, after a little walk and settling down to her art (which she loves, thank heavens!) she began a real journey, through Impressionism (hints and tones of sun, sea, sky and earthy beach at Phillip Island, which she loves, and of which she has fond holiday memories: a real elemental mandala, in other words) and sailing into a sunrise-sky with aeroplane and black balloon, to ...would you believe? Expressionism, the polar opposite of Impressionism, interiorly rather than exteriorly focussed, with a painting done Rorschach-style in running ink, which formed into the image of a little fiery red devil, horns and all, and obviously encapsulated very well the anger she was still feeling: a little red fiery devil of anger, still "seeing red" indeed; she loved this idea, and also the idea of "getting it out there" (on the paper) rather than "keeping it in there" (bottled up inside herself)... If I had made a journey from Impressionism to Expressionism in two hours, and three pieces, I would have felt tired as well, even without fulfilling the role of midwife/facilitator! lol We both did "real good work", in more ways than one, this morning! :-))
And again, at Sacred Heart, this afternoon, more dramas erupted! I sat myself down with the targeted client, after offering her a cuppa as she liked it (she nearly choking to death on her upset), white with two sugars (quick and easy way of establishing rapport, and basic trust!); she did not get to finish her art work (also an angry "fire bird", btw), but she did get heard out, and talked herself back into some sort of normality, as she sat outside on the steps in mellow autumnal sunshine, and crocheted, and sipped her cuppa... The other one, in the meantime, targeting everyone in sight, got banned for three weeks, after which she will no doubt come back with an even bigger chip on her shoulder than ever, but which in the meantime gives everyone else a bit of breathing space, and a chance to get on with their art (including me!) lol

I find it so nice to see this picture lovingly, professionally framed and gone to a good home; I don't mind the 'blueness', because it makes her look even more like a mermaid (underwater)!  Posted by Hello

one of my artworks that actually sold! Posted by Hello

Monday, March 28, 2005

Yellow Planetary Seed

falling...or ascending angels? Posted by Hello

After getting enough sleep last night to take away the dark circles from under my eyes, I wonder if the visit of the rabbit of the apocalypse on Saturday has in fact liberated me from something that has burdened me all my life: could today really amount to "the first day of the rest of my life"? Approaching the half-century mark, one wishes for a "new birth", and not a fundamentalist one! lol The "foretaste of resurrection" which the rediscovery of Bjorn Erik's homepage and the posting of the crucifixion icon promised on Friday, heralded indeed a strange awakening as a newly freed person/ex-prisoner. Freedom has something to do with the freedom to write (and even one day think) in e-prime, although not all share this enthusiasm. Sebi for one does not understand its whys, let alone hows; lucky for him my fervor of the newly-converted proselyte cannot transmit itself virus-like, because of the nature of E-prime itself (virus-free English)! Finally, like St Paul, I get to put behind me "the childish ways" that have dogged me all the first half of my supposedly "adult" life. Now I dare proclaim myself existentially free to relate to others without angst, and without existential nausea (although the thought of the remaining chocolate still fills me with physical nausea! lol)! You want to come over and help me finish it, Sebi, if you feel peckish? lol

Btw, all the oracular indications (Secret Dakini Oracle last night, "Magic Carpet", and Mayan Oracle this morning, "Skywalker" and "Eagle") seem to answer the above question re the angels of the apocalypse above with a resounding: "ascending!" Even Raphael, the little chubby-cheeked guardian of the east and archangel of healing, now refuses to stay on my wall, so one could call him technically 'fallen', but I believe that that means he just wants to come down closer to me, on my altar! I promise one day to mend his broken wings properly, with Super Glue ;-))

Easter poem to balance Good Friday's bird poem:
"Nature weeping. Nature speaking of nature to nature.
"The red-winged blackbird flies in us, in our inner sight. We see the arc of her flight. We measure the ellipse. We predict its climax. It amazes us. It moves us. We fly. We watch her wings negotiate the wind, the substance of the air, its elements and the elements of those elements, and count those elements found in other beings, the sea urchin's sting, ink, this paper, our bones, the flesh of our tongues with which we make the sound 'blackbird', the ear with which we hear, the eye which travels the arc of her flight. And yet the blackbird does not fly in us but in somewhere else free of our minds, and now even free of our sight, flying in the path of her own will."
(with apologies to Susan Griffin)

Virgo rising:
Investigation would seem a strong theme for me today. I dig deep into complex information, or follow leads with no obvious conclusion ;-P

advert (not in e-prime) ;-)) Posted by Hello

Gestalt tapes playing in our heads? Posted by Hello

a stunning archetypal image of the personal pain I believe we all bear (not online, until now; from Witchcraft magazine, courtesy of Sebi's scanner) Posted by Hello

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Blue Solar Night (translated into E-prime)

where the dream takes you Lyrics Artist (Band):Mya
100% Legal MP3 Downloads
And you still believe
And you know
You must go
Where the dream takes you
( Where your dream takes your heart )
Where your heart longs to be
Where the dream leads you (your dream leads you home)
Far as your heart can see
A world waits for you
Where the dream takes you
(where the dream takes you)
The faith to dream keeps
The dream alive
So you still believe
And you know you must go
Where the dream takes you
(Where your dream takes your heart)
Where your heart longs to be
A world waits for you
Where the dream takes you
Go where your heart must, or wills
And you may find
Somebody there
Someone to share your dream
When you finally find that place
You find all you need
Where the dream leads you
( Your dream leads you home )
Far as your heart can see
A world waits for you

"it seems-a not so bad
it seems-a nice-a place
ah, shaddap-a you face"
(Joe Dolce, biggest-selling Aussie single of all time)

The Angel

I dreamt a dream! what can it mean?
And I seem a maiden Queen,
Guarded by an Angel mild:
Witless woe... ne'er beguil'd!

And I wept both night and day,
And he wip'd my tears away,
And I wept both day and night,
And hid from him my heart's delight.

So he took his wings and fled;
Then the morn blush'd rosy red;
I dried my tears, and arm'd my fears
With ten thousand shields and spears.

Soon my Angel came again:
I arm'd myself, he came in vain;
For the time of youth then fled,
I found grey hairs on my head

Who makes up these dumb meta-blogging rules, anyway? "You shouldn't show your blog to your mum?" (As if you shouldn't break rules, anyway! lol) My blog equates to me, or at least to a pretty vital extension of myself: Freud would say we "cathected", and therefore in a very intimate sense, "love me, love my blog". Mothers reckon they all love, and unconditionally love at that. Bull! With that much unconditional love in the world, the world would seem a much nicer place. Even Jesus had to dismiss his mum, with: "Woman, what have I to do with thee?" Any relationship that has to rest on a foundation of secrecy and hiding one's deepest truths does not deserve the effort. I have done a pretty good job of hiding my deepest truths from my mum since at least 13, it seems, because now, when my mum learns it, she finds it a shock. Her coldness, and occasional anger (what I basically learnt from her) show that her pretensions of "love" amounted in fact to assertions of power and control; when she realized she had no more power over me, she simply gave up the pretense. I made a last-ditch attempt at openness and honesty with her, to show her something of my life and blogging times, in fact, and, once again, she didn't want to know; she didn't even want to discuss it. Does no one wonder what drove me to the pseudo-suicide of emigration and actual attempted suicides in the first place? My mum just always wanted power over me; when she couldn't have power, she just didn't want to know.

Blue Solar Night

Infant Sorrow

My mother groan'd, my father wept,
Into the dangerous world I leapt;
Helpless, naked, piping loud,
Like a fiend hid in a cloud.

Struggling in my father's hands,
Striving against my swaddling-bands,
Bound and weary, I thought best
To sulk upon my mother's breast.

Without knowing it, William Blake actually wrote the above poem in E-prime, as I intend to continue the rest of this blog! For the whys and hows of E-prime, or English-prime, see Su's amazing article:


~ Or alternatively titled: OCTARINE LANGUAGE TO GO! (whatever "octarine" means) ;-P

“The false concept of ‘being’ acts as a word virus, scrambling our thoughts, for nothing consists of other than what it does. I think, therefore I think that I think, nothing more!”
-- Peter Carroll, PsyberMagick.

“E-Prime and Chaos Magic”: an article on the Whys and Hows of using E-Prime (English Prime) as a language medium for those operating in Chaos magic by Su Leybourn (Sor. Wile_e_Chaote), in the files at (you may need to join the group to access it).

Electronic Retrieval:

Bourland, D. D, To Be Or Not To Be: E-Prime as a Tool for Critical Thinking, first published in “ETC: A Review of General Semantics”, Vol. 46, No. 3, Fall 1989

E-Prime, from Wikipedia,

Scorpio, D, E-Prime Tutorial,

Hilgartner, C. A, E-Prime and Linguistic Revision,

Kellogg, E. W. III, Speaking in E-prime, first published in “ETC: A Review of General Semantics”, Vol. 44, No. 2 (Summer 1987)

Kellogg E. W. III and Bourland, D, D, Working with E-Prime

Kenyon, R. E, E-prime: The Spirit and the Letter

Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, from Wikipedia,

Wilson, R. A, Quantum Psychology,

Wilson, R. A, Towards Understanding E-Prime

Saturday, March 26, 2005

a party animal with more than a hint of yobbo! Posted by Hello

Heart of Atlantis Posted by Hello

To Tirzah

To Tirzah

Whate'er is born of mortal birth
Must be consumèd with the earth,
To rise from generation free:
Then what have I to do with thee?

The sexes sprung from shame and pride,
Blow'd in the morn; in evening died;
But Mercy chang'd death into sleep;
The sexes rose to work and weep.

Thou, Mother of my mortal part,
With cruelty didst mould my heart,
And with false self-deceiving tears
Didst bind my nostrils, eyes, and ears;

Didst close my tongue in senseless clay,
And me to mortal life betray:
The death of Jesus set me free:
Then what have I to do with thee?

A Danish website supplies the perfect commentary? lol

White Galactic Wind: my other poetic contribution to Bjorn Erik's homepage!

A little poem about Weezer and the fire lesbians, by fiery wifey Claire.

Sometimes I do not know who I am
sometimes we do not know who we are
unless a little apology comes creeping out
to all the pretty lesbians,
whose pink triangles stain the sheets with innocence
turn our bodies translucent emerald
our eyes and hair translucent sapphire –
ssh! Enuf said, mystic
pink triangles on the streets
pink nipples, rosebud treats
pink swastikas on heat
in gold of fiery holocaust-apocalypse dawn
and mercy of Mother Mafsela flows

don’t forget that there are also little Irish emerald leprechaun lesbians
just as pretty and elfin as any other, and don’t forget
there are still pink rosebuds round the door
of that cosy summer cottage on the Isle of Wight (or Man),
if it’s not too dear for two little old pensioners
fast approaching the age of sixty-four…

Pussy cumquat, pussy velvet, where have you been, under ground?
I’ve been to Abbey Road, to visit the queen
George Harrison and all the other little
Alexander Beetles

Be careful as you cross the album-scene!
The zebra-crossings are paved with land-mines,
If you know what I mean…

For more of me poetry see

Plot Summary for Mujeres al borde de un ataque de nervios (1988)
A woman's lover leaves her, and she tries to contact him to find out why he's left. She confronts his wife and son, who are as clueless as she. Meanwhile her girlfriend is afraid the police are looking for her because of her boyfriend's criminal activities. They talk to a female lawyer, who turns out to be the lover's new lover, and everyone's path keeps crossing each other's in a very complicated and confusing manner.

"From their own mouths, which had begun to disappear, they spat white slime that froze as human skin over their sculpted mass, and so they became a wholly new race on Aegina, a people who stood under the sign of the ants." - Christoph Ransmayr, The Last World ;-P

Jeinalem's puppy, from the Philippines, a younger version of Roberta's old dog, as seen in "galactically activated buddies"?  Posted by Hello

Beware the killer tomato: it bites the hand that feeds it! (me and Sebi, btw, in case you were wondering!) ;-)) Posted by Hello

where Easter eggs come from; the rabbit of the Apocalypse? lol Posted by Hello

Friday, March 25, 2005

Caroline Quentin, Blue Murder Posted by Hello

Forgotten poetry ramblings, resurrected from the depths of Bjorn Erik's homepage


I know who I am.
(See how my handwriting reflects my gnosis,
just as you wrote it,
the capital I like a 7, at long, long last!)

I write like you,
as I always smoked like you,
and would only be able to drink
like you, if one day I no longer have
a shit driving-job,
that prevents that!

I know who I am,
The stones always
tell me that,
so often, that it can hardly be
by pure “chance” alone.

I know who I am.
and say it out loud,
with a strong Bergen accent,
because I hate
the Australian one around me, and nynorsk as well!

I know who I am.
I have always known
whom you are, but only now
do I also know in the clearest
possible way, whom I am, and I don’t think
it’s any “religious psychosis”!

I know who I am.
The stones proclaim it, even in
their muteness… now that the little spider
had to be sold:
Not that I was her,
but that I am her here and now
(I still have the ring,
if I am called upon
to prove it!)

I know who I am.
Lilith = the Magdalene,
who left everything, all her wealth,
just to be with the one she loved,
the one who loved to kiss her on her…
and they fit so well together, cock and cunt, like hand and glove,
that even now in separation
she remains
his only Cathar-Catholic church!

And I know who your mother is,
woe to the Pharisaical bitch, who stands like a dog
in the manger, and can’t eat the hay herself,
but won’t let the oxen eat either…

And she’ll be there in the end,
Like the old woman in “The Mental Traveller”,
at the end of this cycle,
still holding you in prison, me in exile, little friend!

I would have liked to be the one,
but who will win, who shall be victorious,
in the end? But she who laughs last,
and best…

The Accuser so wants to kill Lilith-Magdalene (what I have written,
I have written), and j’accuse
(in French) j’accuse
the pathogenic in us both…!

For she says it’s all my fault –
yes, it’s all my fault –
that we tried to escape Satan’s synagogue
for the land the Vikings called Muspelheim –
intolerably hot in summer…
Hell is a life completely ruined,
as they ruined both of ours by committing you in the first place –
for yes, my lik is as completely ruined as yours now…
when they put you away, they killed two birds with one stone, as it were.

I know who I am.
And I accuse the Accuser
in all of us,
for we are One
in the great mirror of reality (the great mystery),
and I cannot, dare not forgive…

Neither do I forgive
the Great Mother, the Satan, the bad mother
also in myself…
for I have been a bad mother,
and therefore a bad Satan, Goddess help me!

Enough of pseudo-schizophrenic words…
I go now to paint these words, these feelings in a picture,
in our book of shadows, that only became a Book of Shadows
long after this
crisis of suicidal despair…
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima Magickal culpa!
But if I can’t turn 90 with you,
I have no desire to turn 45 without you,
in this hell which is only one long dream
or memory of you, if it is anything…

Will I still make it to the material kingdom of heaven anyway,
even if I die (once again) by my own hand?
And what if the Pachad you say I am carrying
turns out only to be an iron ball, and not a baby after all,
like that in the belly of the blind queen,
who only pretended to be blind,
because she had married a king
who really was blind, and it would not be fitting
for the queen to be seeing when the king is blind…
Are we not in truth the blind leading the blind?

3/1/01; 9/1/02

You were Gilgamesh
you were Enoch
you were one of the B’nai Elohim
you flew too high
you walked with God
and were no more

you are still as one of the B’nai Elohim
you should never have come back
to earth!

(but remember, I knew you
- both times!)


The first time you came down from the sky to me
this time I came down from the sky to you
(three times in fact!)

the first time you were tall, and fair, from the direction
of the North Pole, or Pole Star,
one of the Nephilim,
giant sons of the gods

and I was little, thin and dark
a little daughter of the earth
dark as “caffa”

but you loved my vagina
because it was so tight
for your giant prick
and wet
when you entered it…

that time also
God wanted to punish us
because we wanted to have children,
many children…


Now that I have written, what I have written
in both English and Norwegian
shall you now write something
in boustrophedon Hebrew?


And later, when I was born
in another country
high in the Andes-mountains
I saw once again
the sons of the gods descend
from heaven –
at first sight
I thought they were you
maybe they were
your brothers

but they kept me company
while you (my grandfather,
that time) died
and left me all alone
except for your spirit
(and memories of many a box on the ear)
and the sons of the gods
high up in the mountains


Later when I held
the obsidian knife
as jaguar-priest (or priestess)
I did not know that the one I was offering
just in order to fulfil
the holy laws
was the one who would later
be called my father
and even before this life
he started to take revenge on me
by perverting my writings
to Nazi-propaganda
(as Elisabeth,
my bitch of a sister)

where were you,
that time?
Maybe also then
we ate hearts
and drank blood
maybe you were
the knife itself? The obsidian mirror
Thus our story is becoming an epic
(no tragedy) –
now that the pieces of the puzzle
are falling into place,
“and this time,
it’s Biblical!”

but my first land
has never forgotten you either,
and still awaits your return
as Pacal Votan
(the wandering Odin?)
…shall we go to Mexico one day, to drink tequila?
The first time
God punished you
by not letting you
complete your project
of Babel’s tower…

and now he is punishing me
when you only write
in Babel’s tongues

13 Bat (8th August, 2001)

the magic finger moves, and having moved, moves on!  Posted by Hello

self-explanatory Posted by Hello

Red Resonant Dragon, galactic activation portal, so-called 'good' Friday

Omg, Bjorn Erik's homepage still exists, so I have also posted this link on his blog. Warning: not for the faint-hearted or squeamish; contains (psychotic) material that may offend some viewers
This is not exactly the anniversary of that fateful, so-called 'good' Friday ('long Friday', more appropriately, in Norwegian!) three years ago - but at least we already have a foretaste of resurrection in that the homepage which was believed lost and dead, is found, and reposted; will enjoy catching up with it, with due pomp, solemnity and ceremony this afternoon...
'Good' Friday: like Christmas, Easter is so much pseudo-historical baggage from the Christian point of view, and from the pagan point of view, totally misplaced, at least down under! But according to Earth Prayers, it is still a 'good' day for reflecting on and identifying with the passion of the earth itself (see also global dimming post and illustration):

"Birds nest in my arms,
on my shoulders, behind my knees,
between my breasts there are quails,
they must think I am a tree.
The swans think I am a fountain,
they all come down to drink when I talk.
When sheep pass, they pass over me,
and perched on my fingers, the sparrows eat,
the ants think I'm the earth,
and men think I'm nothing."
- Gloria Fuertes

"Soul of Earth, sanctify me.
Body of Earth, save me.
Blood of Earth, fill me with love.
Water from Earth's side, wash me.
Passion of Earth, strengthen me.
Resurrection of Earth, empower me.
Good Earth, hear me.
Within your wounds, hide me.
Never let me be separated from you.
From the power of evil, protect me.
At the hour of my death, call me
That with your living ones I may thank you
For all eternity. Amen [so mote it be]."
- adapted by Jane Pellowski from "Anima Christi".

Thursday, March 24, 2005

The two best-looking and most intelligent guys on TV; unfortunately, Tobias Moretti is married, and lives with Julia Moretti and their two kids in Vienna ;-(( Posted by Hello


Daughter of the purple-dyer Idmon of Colophon, famous for her artistry as a weaver. Provokes Minerva, the virginal goddess of war, science and art, saying: I, Arachne, weave more beautifully and skilfully than the goddess herself. And indeed, Arachne's flawless tapestries, depicting the amorous adventures of the Olympian gods, surpass what Minerva can weave. She angrily rips Arachne's tapestries to shreds and strikes her with the shuttle of her loom. Arachne is so humiliated that she tries to hang herself.
...Minerva at last was moved to pity, and raised her, saying: 'Live, wicked girl; live on, but hang forever, and, just to keep you thoughtful for the future, this punishment shall be enforced for always on all your generations.' As she turned, she sprinkled her with hell-bane, and her hair fell off, and nose and ears fell off, and head was shrunken, and the body very tiny, nothing but belly, with little fingers clinging along the side as legs, but from the belly she still kept spinning; the spider has not forgotten the arts she used to practise.
- from The Last World, by Christoph Ransmayr.
Minerva, with wicked, divine cruelty, knew the best punishment for a would-be suicide: to live on, and live forever? ;-P

Jan Danning's Arachne Posted by Hello

Yellow Rhythmic Sun

In my dream, it is as if I am deciding which of the armed services to join, settling on the air force...
Comments and reflections: an 'uplifting' or 'elevating' dream feeling... ;-))
And I have got nearly through the Christians' Holy Week without so much as a soppy religious, or fluffy chicks and bunnies, card from my mum... yay! I was hoping I would - and I hope she gives my birthday a miss as well. This last remnant of my 'toxic family' was so easy to banish, it didn't even take a binding or banishing ritual, as the others did: it was as simple as saying, "The discussion is closed", when she was on my case, and dragging me down into a paralyzing, suicidal depression I no longer need. When I was 13 and fantasized about being an orphan and being kicked out of home, was this not the emancipation I craved?
I did actually find, when going through my folder for my initial jobsearch interview, that I now do have a single hard copy of "A Fragile Peace", as of a couple of years ago; if my mother bothers to get in touch with me, she is welcome to read it, if interested. I should have told her at the time: but she never asked! lol And right now, I do not really care, either way, any more...
And yay, for the new-look Centrelink dole form! Apparently one no longer has to supply evidence of jobs actually applied for; since too many faked this, it was a meaningless exercise anyway, and for those of us who didn't fake it, it was an exercise in meaningless anxiety. And the new-look 'personal pages' put online by one's job network member also help take much of the stress and worry out of looking for work, apparently, as it does an overnight search for you, which is supposed to be even more effective than an instant search... Going to check out my new 'personal pages' now ;-))

expecting not so much an Easter bunny, as the rabbit of the Apocalypse! ;-)) Posted by Hello

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Blue Overtone Storm, galactic activation portal

On the other hand, courtesy of eo2, from the Taipei Times:
>Sun, Mar 20, 2005
The beneficial powers of darkness

Artificial light illuminates our lives, allowing us to work or play through the night. But, we toy with our body clocks at severe risk to our wellbeing
By Hugh WislonTHE GUARDIAN , London Sunday, Mar 20, 2005,

Page 9

For many of us, night has become day. We work, travel, shop, exercise and socialize in hours that used to be reserved for relaxation and sleep. Time is a limited resource and, to make full use of it, the night has been illuminated and occupied. Even when we do sleep, street lamps and security lights pierce the darkness.
But our freedom from the natural constraints of day and night may have come at a price. According to a growing band of scientists and doctors, many of us are no longer getting enough darkness in our lives. The theory is based on a simple premise. Our biological rhythms evolved in a time before artificial light, to take advantage of both bright days and dark nights. By succumbing to the temptations of 24-hour living, and ignoring or reducing our natural dark time, we could be putting our health at risk.
"A number of health and environmental problems are due to a loss of darkness," says Dr David Crawford, executive director of the International Dark-Sky Association, a group that campaigns against light pollution. "And it will get worse as we creep -- or rush -- to a 24/7 world. All of life, all of it, has evolved with a day/night cycle -- the circadian rhythm. It's essential to good health. Many studies are now showing that those who go without a true day/night cycle are adversely impacting their immune systems, and that's not good."
It's not good, but it's becoming the norm. In the UK for instance, more than 20 percent of the working population now work at least some of the time outside the 7am-7pm day. Global travel, the internet, job insecurity, 24-hour shopping and TV, and -- coming soon -- late-night pubs and bars, all help to push back the boundaries of the active day. To remain active at night we need light, with the result that the natural circadian cycle of day and night, light and dark, is becoming perilously unbalanced. We are creating a conflict between what we want to do, and what our internal timekeeper -- the body clock -- prepares us for.
"Our biological clock has been likened to the conductor of an orchestra, with the multiple rhythms of the body representing the various sections of that orchestra," says Russell Foster, professor of molecular neuroscience at Imperial College, London, which later this month hosts the first international sleep conference. "The body clock adapts us for the varying demands of activity and rest. It ensures our internal synchronicity: that our various internal systems -- temperature, alertness, blood pressure and so on -- are working together. And the body clock sets itself using the light/dark cycle. By moving to 24-hour living, and reducing or ignoring the dark bit, we are effectively throwing away the advantages of millions of years of evolution."
The effects of screwing up our body clocks are most readily observable in the growing army of night workers. Studies suggest that, even after years of night shifts, many workers never adjust to a regime that pitches them against our basic and hard-wired biology.
Instead, they head wearily home to bed just as the morning light is prompting their body clocks to prepare for activity, and back again when the gathering dusk tells them to prepare for rest.
Immune Breakdown
Once at work, overriding the craving for dark and sleep comes at a price. "They activate the `fight or flight' stress mechanism," says Foster, "and we know that stress in turn can suppress the immune system." Bright lights, caffeine and nicotine artificially maintain stimulation. Perhaps unsurprisingly, studies show that nightshift workers are at increased risk of a range of health problems, from stress, constipation and stomach ulcers to depression, heart disease and cancer. For example, a 2001 study in Seattle, based on interviews with 800 women, found that females who worked the graveyard shift could face a 60 percent increase in the risk of breast cancer.
There is another theory that tries to explain the high incidence of breast and colo-rectal cancers in shift workers, however.
Melatonin is called "the Dracula hormone" because it always comes out at night. But its production can be severely reduced by bright artificial light. The effects of melatonin on health are not properly understood, but a number of scientists, particularly in America, are connecting low levels of melatonin with high levels of certain cancers in nightshift workers. One study presented to the American Association for Cancer Research found that melatonin can slow tumor growth by up to 70 percent in mice infected with human breast cancer cells.
When the mice were subjected to constant light, cancer growth rocketed.
Some have taken it further. George Brainard, a neurologist at Thomas Jefferson University in Pennsylvania, has recommended that we all exercise a "prudent avoidance" of light at night to ensure normal levels of melatonin whether we work night shifts or not.
No Substitute
Brainard's research has shown that the human body clock can be affected by light of short wavelength, which is more prevalent in artificial light used at night. It also showed that melatonin production was reduced by just this sort of short wavelength light.
Until recently, it was believed that only daylight was strong enough to influence our internal systems.
On the back of this, another researcher has advised parents not to let children sleep with the light on because of a potential - though unproven - connection between artificial light at night and childhood leukemia. The incidence of leukemia in children under five rose by 50 percent in the second half of the 20th century, leading some scientists to point the finger at our increased reliance on artificial light. "I would not myself use a nightlight in a kid's bedroom unless there is a reason for it for safety," said Richard Stevens, a cancer epidemiologist at the University of Connecticut, after a conference on childhood leukemia in London last autumn.
"There is interesting evidence about melatonin having properties that would lead to reduction in cancer risks, so the possibility that this might be related to childhood leukemia is important."
Foster, on the other hand, believes that many of these claims are "overselling" the evidence of melatonin's anti-cancer properties.
"It's true that melatonin is suppressed by light, but in reality we don't really know what effects it has on health. Its anti-cancer properties are a long way from being established as fact," he says.
"My opinion is that the suppression of the immune system is much more likely to explain cancer rates in shift workers."
Embrace the Dark
Nevertheless, most scientists agree that our rush to turn night into day must be having some effect on our health, even if we don't work the graveyard shift. "We now know that we are sensitive to the sort of light levels we readily expose ourselves to in the evening," says Dr Derk-Jan Dijk, director of the Sleep Research Centre at Surrey University. "We're not quite sure what the impact is, but we know that even ordinary room light can have an effect on our physiologies."
A television that flickers all night in a child's bedroom... street lighting that spills through curtains... "There's not enough research on these things at the moment," says Dijk, "but it's certainly a concern. Ideally, we should all be sleeping in darkened rooms. And don't forget, in the natural situation, in which we evolved, dark really did mean dark."
For the general population, the most pressing problem stemming from ubiquitous artificial lighting and 24-hour living is sleep deprivation. The absence of true, continuous darkness could be affecting the quality of our sleep. It's certainly affecting the quantity. We are stretching the boundaries of day at one end, without being able to stretch the boundaries of night at the other.
"I think the critical issue is that sleep has been greatly delayed by our invasion of the night," says Foster. "So we try to manipulate our body clocks with stimulants and sedatives. Caffeine and nicotine keep us awake. Alcohol and hypnotics counteract them when we want to sleep. It's a worrying cycle and the 24-hour society promotes it."
Humans have known for a long time that banishing the dark from our lives has a powerful effect. "Don't forget," reminds Dijk, "continuous light has long been used as a method of torture." This story has been viewed 1325 times.

Copyright © 1999-2005 The Taipei Times. All rights reserved.

I agree completely, and I personally have long been a personal believer in the circadian rhythms as the natural prevention of depression! But I am up past my natural bedtime already, and therefore must practise what I preach in order to up bright and early for my Centrelink appointment tomorrow morning! ;-))
You wouldn't believe the night I have had: despite retiring at the time of the above post, I tossed and turned and sweated until about 3 am, suffering agonising cramps which even rehydrating with water would not alleviate, so I have only had about 3 1/2 hours sleep, and I think I have to tell the Centrelink psychologist that I am still not fit to go looking for paid work, because even the thought of looking for paid work always puts me into this state of acute anxiety... And it does not get any easier the older you get. At least I will be on time for the appointment, though ;-P
Is there a feature on blogs called the paper bag, and if not, why not? In my dream, it is as if there is, and it instantly finds and downloads all this art, including children's art, and I am still chatting with Sebi while all this is happening, and not sure if it is actually being published or not... All I can remember from this dream fragment is Sebi in the course of our chat saying something like, "If you don't like art in the moment, don't go near the paper bag." But I do love the idea of art in the moment, so I kept shuffling and reshuffling the contents of the paper bag, without being quite sure what I was doing...
Comments and reflections: Kind of reminds me of Craig's giant slideshow/screensaver, although he does know what he is doing with the organisation of that! ;-))

There's movement at the station, and here in Geneva at the UN, it's great to be able to tell fellow human rights organisations that our campaigns are having effect.The arguments against arbitrary and long term detention get harder to resist as the years go by. On the website ( you'll see links to reports in The Age (Michelle Grattan) and The Sydney Morning Herald (Louise Dodson) as to the progress on our call for action on those detained for longer than three years now.Please keep the pressure on. Remind your MPs that there are over 180 people in detention for more than three years now. Tell them not to forget that there are still 48 adults and 6 children still stuck on Nauru since December 2001. Ask them to do what they can to support the work of Government backbenchers Petro Georgiou, Bruce Baird and Judi Moylan to get some movement for these people.
Mental Health and Human Rights
On 31 March at Parliament House, Sydney, and 6 April at Parliament House, Perth, we are assisting other human rights organisations with seminars to scope out today's human rights issues for people with mental illness, as a precursor to more concerted national effort in this area. Go to Current Issues on the website for more information, and to register for these seminars.
Sexual orientation and gender identity issues at the UN
The United Nations Commission on Human Rights (CHR) has completed its first week, with 8 nations (maybe 9) talking of the need to address discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation.
Canada: "This system should be flexible, so that we can make progress in new areas, such as fighting discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity".
Switzerland: "Nous constatons qu'il devient difficile d'introduire de nouveaux themes devant la Commission, tel que par exemple celui de la non-discrimination fondee sur l'orientation sexuelle."
Sweden: "Well aware of that issue of that the issue of non-discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation has led to fierce debate in this commission during the past years, I believe that if we together work from our common vision, as stated in the Universal declaration on Human Rights, we will be able to agree. We, as human beings, are equal in dignity and rights and everyone has the right to fully enjoy his or her human rights without discrimination on any ground. No one should be arbitrarily executed and everyone has the right to liberty and security of person. We may differ in tradition and culture, but we must be equally committed to our human rights obligations, which are universal. I am pleased that the Secretary-General has decided that UN personnel living in homosexual marriages or partnerships will have the same employment benefits as married heterosexual employees, and I urge all UN organs and specialized agencies to follow suit."
Spain: "Asimismo, se han dado ya importantes pasos para eliminar diferencias en materia de derechos como consecuencia de la orientacion sexual."
Finland: "Sexual orientation continues to spark discrimination, harassment and human rights violations in many parts of the world. It is clear, however, that each and every individual should benefit from the principle of non-discrimination and be protected against human rights violations. This Commission cannot shy away from addressing the clearly existing human rights challenges related to sexual orientation".
Norway: "The principle of non-discrimination is at the core of our understanding of what human rights are all about. No discrimination on the basis of a person's race, colour, sex, language, religion, descent, national or ethnic origin must take place. This fundamental principle must also apply to people regardless of their sexual orientation or identity. We note with great concern that discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation or identity is giving rise in certain cases to grave human rights issues."
Mexico: "No person or group must be left out of the system of protection of their rights, particularly those that constitute vulnerable groups. That is why the international community is working on a Convention to promote and protect the rights of persons with disabilities."

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

White Self-Existing Mirror

Omg, today's galactic signature is really spooky, because I just learned that now we have not only global warming but also global dimming : apparently the clouds are becoming giant reflecting mirrors reflecting light back into space, and this is masking the effect of global warming, which would otherwise be far greater; the catch is that one problem cannot be solved without solving the other, and we all, in the western, developed world, are mass-murderers, as guilty as Pilate, attempting to wash his hands of the blood... :-((

And if that bad news makes you want to reach for the bong and take another chuff, think again, man, it is messing with your head, as I have long known: again, see and go to the sections on "Messing with Heads"...especially if you are a teenager! ;-P

>Claire, you're a Belle of the Ball!

One of great things about being you is that you have a healthy dose of self-respect. It's not every Tom, Dick, or Harry who gets to land a date with you. Your natural tendency to really check someone out before letting 'em in the door serves you well. You don't get stuck with the bottom-feeders. So what if some people think you're a challenge? That isn't always a bad thing. Being picky just means you don't settle for anything but the best. You want someone who will dote on you and take good care of you, while still keeping you on your toes. Thank goodness you're not one of the many women who underestimate their self-worth (men tend to overestimate). That's why you see so many gorgeous gals going out with meatheads.Is it possible that your romantic standards are just protecting the heart of gold inside? Once you let your guard down, successful suitors find a loving, generous gal who will throw herself into a relationship. Our only advice is that in your quest for love, carry with you the immortal words of Mother Teresa: "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

I am also 51% masculine, according to the gender identity quiz at!
>Claire, Tickle can tell that you have a Balanced gender focus. People who have both strong masculine and strong feminine qualities tend to get things done and are good with people.

Oh, and Sebi, you were right: "one person's phobia is another person's fetish" (may I quote you on that?). I seriously wasn't mucking around about the webcam panic/phobia yesterday: I also woke in the night anxious and depressed about the issue (in my dream it is as if I am chatting with someone online who claims to have seen me 'live' on webcam, which is impossible in the last three months, apart from one embarrassing attempt). It is not a delusional phobia, i.e. I do not think the webcam is going to get up and bite me or anything, but it is a phobia (irrational fear) nonetheless, in that even a invitation from a trusted friend to a quick demo can bring on a reaction of panic, because it evokes all the old issues about: "will I ever open myself up to this again?" I promise I will NEVER laugh at your snake phobia again! [correcting original typo] ;-P

Monday, March 21, 2005

global dimming Posted by Hello

Red Electric Earth

How can I have been so stupid? Even I did not notice what riches I threw away in that glib remark about Iris Murdoch a few days ago... How could I have abandoned Iris Murdoch, who continues to ask the big questions (philosophy) for Jonathan Kellerman, who only asks the little questions (of psychology)? I do not know what Iris Murdoch books you have read, and I wonder if you have seen in them any more than cultured, polite, very British comedies of manners. I am currently reading "The Sacred and Profane Love Machine", because I did not think I had read it before, in my erstwhile addiction to her. But the same big questions arise: what is real, what is true, what is good, what is beautiful? Bjorn Erik was right: Plato kicks arse over Nietzsche? She cunningly hides her big philosophical questions in novelistic excellence. Dare I re-read "The Message to the Planet"? Because even then, in my addiction, I thought it was her biggest, and most tragic book ever..... Of course, there was "Under the Net" (her Wittgensteinian foray into comedy), and there was "The Black Prince" (her tribute to Hamlet, and the whole Romantic, Platonic concept of 'love', however one translates that). Has there ever before been any novelist who so exquisitely and painfully explores the problems of philosophy as Iris Murdoch? ("The Red and the Green", encompassed by my glib throwaway remark a few days ago, was her foray into the historical genre. Dare I still claim that my blog reconciles "the red" and "the green"? "What I have written, I have written", Pilate eerily chimes, on Compass, as a final note.)
P.S. And no, I have not forgotten the hideous fact that Monty's wife, 'Sophie' (as in 'philo Sophia') is dead... ;-((
In my dream, after going to sleep really late, and waking this morning [the Fotamecus experiment seems to have done funny things to my computer clock, btw, because, according to it, it is still midday yesterday! lol Minnie however ticks on relatively normally on my altar, although it is her "instrument of Chronos" that symbolically represents Chronos slain! Maybe Fotamecus really does only expand and compress digital, but not analog, time; or maybe in my case he took especial pity on "Minnie the survivor" and decided to spare her! lol]:
it is as if I know what happened to the furniture in the "theft" dream, or at least will know shortly, because 'they', whoever they are, have begun to move new furniture back again, blue and beige, or blue and yellow, and it is all to be acted out, like a sort of play or mystery tableau... Like The Magus or Neurocam?
Comments and reflections: dang that Neurocam, the more I know, the less I know? You really have to "get out of your mind" (by them ****ing with it) to "get into it"? The rudeness of having to buy a plain white actor's mask in readiness for the next "assignment", then waiting and waiting to be asked your availability, and then they inform you they don't need you after all! On the point of telling them to shove the whole thing, if they do contact me again...! lol And I don't care if they do have hidden spyware installed in this computer! This is my blog, and I will post in it what I like! ;-))

Sunday, March 20, 2005

"he does not just think with his head, he thinks with his whole body" (Sister Wendy) Posted by Hello

Hermgirl's Tarot Blog Ring
Join | List | Previous | Next | Random | Previous 5 | Next 5 | Skip Previous | Skip Next