Blue Resonant Eagle
In my dream it is as if I am reconciled with someone who is Russell, but doesn't look like him; he is charming in a Hannibal-Lecter kind of way, and has me lying on some sort of table, looking up a magnificent baroque ceiling, with a skylight, which is supposedly in the Uffizi Gallery, Florence [just re-read Hannibal!]; it is peaceful, uplifting and beautiful... Then there is a confused bit in Melbourne, involving much chopping and changing of trams, and being impossibly late...
I decide to shuffle my Tarot deck this morning, as opposed to just taking the card off the top, as usual, because in yesterday's Tarot adventures I saw the Ace of Cups stranded on the bottom, and didn't want it to remain there... Lo and behold! the card I drew was my Ace of Cups (who said we don't make our own reality?), so, after yesterday's cup fiasco, the angel cup is still with me, joined, in the shape of my goblet, with Bjorn Erik's Leunig mug, still "making beautiful music together", all appearances to the contrary; this also goes beautifully with the ceiba tree (love-tree) in the Mayan oracle, which now has green crystal (heart-shaped, aventurine) leaves on my altar... Since my cycle of alternative psalms also came around to the prayers of Mani, it brought in Wolf as well (in my medicine wheel this month): "Like the grey wolf I will walk with you..." There is no such thing as a 'lone wolf', as Bjorn Erik liked to tell me; two supposed 'lone wolves' may link up for a little while, to form their own 'mini-pack', and, like all packs, that whole is also more than the sum of its parts... and endures beyond the individuals composing it. 'Blue' days are still emotionally healing, after the harshness of 'white' (more intellectual) days!
"The Ace of Cups is a symbol of possibility in the area of deep feelings, intimacy, attunement, compassion and love. In readings, it shows that a seed of emotional awareness has been planted in your life although you may not yet recognize it. When the seed sprouts, it could take almost any form. It might be an attraction, strong feeling, intuitive knowing, or sympathetic reaction. On the outside, it could be an offer, gift, opportunity, encounter or synchronistic event."
I resonate strangely with these words: my marriage to Bjorn is/was one long "offer, gift, opportunity, encounter or synchronistic event": note italicised keywords, from the Mayan affirmation for today. Radio synchronistically plays "walk with me, hold my hand/don't want to walk alone"; even the "gift" of Russell was also a "seed", in seeming to replicate the synchronicity of the first love of my life, down to the fact that his birthday (7th November) was within a week of Bjorn Erik's (12th November), and they were both Dogs (also sidereal Librans)... Difficult as that may be with my sidereal Pisces, it had to be done - in both cases - and in both cases I have no doubt that our souls contractually orchestrated all of this from the beginning! 'I am loved, even though I do not always recognise it, and I have in fact found my Holy Grail' could well be the revised/paraphrased affirmation for today. Interesting also, on reading re Sebi's card of the Lovers, that the path of physical pleasure is in fact an obstacle to soul growth, and hence the element of "choice" always present in the oft-designed card of Gli Amanti (to put it in pure Florentine Italian, which is also where my angel cup came from, btw!), and this card rightly remains my central focus for this year; Bjorn Erik rightly recognised this element of choice even in the depths of his psychosis, long before I did, and chose accordingly!