Sunday, January 30, 2005

To Sebi

Could you please print this out, TWICE, i.e. one hard copy for yourself, and one for me? It might help you get into a regular discipline of daily meditation...Oh, and btw, today IS Sabbath, so Shalom shabbat! ;-)

White Self-Existing Death/World-bridger, Blue Magnetic Night wavespell!

Talk about Blue Magnetic Night wavespell (13 days): hold on to your hat, and pay attention to your dreams!!! Today's glyph of the White Self-Existing Death/World-bridger (my guide kin) also has something to do with it, because it is as if I am in my grandparents' house, and both of them are still alive, and my grandfather is still sleeping with my grandmother in the back bedroom, which I used to share with her after he died. I am fascinated by the big, downy, silken coverlet in the front bedroom (my mother's room, as opposed to my uncle's, which was the sleepout, detached, out the back)... My astrological "grand cross" suddenly takes on a whole new meaning, from being the heavy "cross on my back" I thought it was, to "saying the hours" (like the Catholic/Carmelite recitation of the Divine Office), and then I suddenly realise: these four planets so vigorously opposing each other at right angles are my circle guardians, that I carry everywhere with me! (Also explains circle-guardians dream-fragment previously, a prelude to this revelation!). If I put Neptune at my back, as guardian of the west and water (Hler: Norse), which seems the easiest and most obvious correspondence to make, Mercury in the 8th house ("my grandmother's house", as in "mother of my mother", 4th house) rules the east and the element of air (Kari), Mars rules the north and the element of fire (Loge), Uranus rules the south and the element of earth (Rinda)! I am my own circle, and mandala!! Ta da!!! And now I know intimately as it were who my real guardians or Kauahtun are... Both my grandparents were also sidereal Librans, btw, so no wonder this dream started with them, since Mercury rules air, in this "my grandmother's house"! Welcome to it, btw, and welcome to my circle... To know me, is to know it! ;-))

Saturday, January 29, 2005

How Sinful Are You?
Which of the 7 Deadly Sins Affects You Most?
Claire, you're less sinful than the average person.

Still, your sinful tendencies are running just below the surface and could start to affect your choices in life. For example, your sex drive could ultimately be your downfall. Beware of prioritizing sexual experiences and conquests above other things. These kinds of desires alone should not control your life.Though you're less sinful than others, this, and the sins you scored highest on can still jeopardize the things that are most important to you. Don't let them.

Red Electric Serpent

The powers of fire were truly with me this morning in meditation: after feeling warmed through and through (not that anyone needs it, this weather!) by the jolly, laughing face of King Monkey (this month's totem mascot) and then singed by the fires of the place of sacrifice, I was 'electrified' by the sight of my candleflame: perfectly straight, and still, reaching right up to the full extent of its height... I recalled the Qabalistic analogy of body/soul/spirit as nefesh/neshamah/ruach, all one and yet distinct in the energy of the candleflame...
Then I read: "Next, light the candle while intoning the Sabbath blessing:
“Baruch atah Yod Heh Vav Heh Elohenu Melech haOlam,Asher kiddeshanu buhmitzvotav vitzivanu luhhadlich ner shel Shabat.”
Lighting a candle with this blessing is appropriate because, for a Mystical Qabalist, there are no regular days of the week, and every day is Shabat." (The Work of the Chariot) ;-))

Friday, January 28, 2005

Yellow Lunar Seed, galactic activation portal

Dreamt last night I was given back my old vinyl record collection, which I had to abandon before returning to Norway, as I had no working record player, and no shop would buy them; there were also some 'new' little singles (45s or 78s?) in a plastic sleeve... ;-))

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Red Crystal Dragon ;-))

Qabalistic dream fragment:
Following Vast Face mantra meditation, upon which I just had to lie down, still listening to Hybrid and still focussed on Hebrew mantras ("Watchman, what of the night?" and "Ani ayn", alternating with musical pieces), I was doing some sort of magic in my sleep, or rather, arguing with myself as to how magic should be done; it was something to do with casting or uncasting a circle, and whether or not the guardians of the quarters should be dismissed at the end of the rite. There was a sense of there being many guardians on each quarter, a whole crowd scene in fact, and it was a good feeling, to be surrounded on all sides by so many guardians... No wonder at least part of me baulked at the idea of dismissing them! "The circle is open, but unbroken"...does that not mean the guardians are still there, even when not formally in circle?
Thanks to the pebble topped with glass bead I found at Sebi's, that he let me have for an eye for my torso piece, the "hermaphrodite" piece is finally starting to emerge from the amorphous "freak of nature" that it was... ;-))
Oh boy, it was really starting to feel like full moon at art group today, and she will be in her Cancerian splendour tomorrow night, given that sun is sidereally in Capricorn! Better do something special to "draw it down"...and Sebi had better get into actually using his (still immaculate) altar for the purpose for which it was set up: nearly the end of our first month, and he has still not even got around to doing the simple altar-cleansing ritual yet (gentle reminder, Sebi, hehe!) ;-))

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Yellow Spectral Sun ;-))

Time to record a qabalistic 'realization' for Sebi's benefit, if no one else's. Tonight I "invoked the name of the Lord" in the qabalistic sense, i.e. recited it as a mantra, and found the letters danced in blue fire on a black ground, until the tears came, and I could not continue (a release like Sebi's therapeutic breakthrough?) and I had to sing a Manichaean devotional hymn instead, descending once again into Small Face dualism: "Who will release me from all the pits and prisons...?/Who will take me over the flood of the tossing sea/the zone of conflict in which there is no rest?/Who will save me from the jaws of all the beasts/ who destroy and terrify one another without pity?/...Who will lead me beyond rebirthss, and free me from them all - and from all the waves in which there is no rest?"

Monday, January 17, 2005

Red Self-Existing Skywalker

In answer to comments on drain dream:
Nanna and Ningal's daughter Inanna, goddess of love and war. A woman planted the huluppu tree in Inanna's garden, but the Imdugud-bird (Anzu bird?) made a nest for its young there, Lilith (or her predecessor, a lilitu-demon) made a house in its trunk, and a serpent made a home in its roots.

Cf. cat springing into tree after a bird, and coming down covered in vomit... Also shades of Genesis here, i.e. "my mother's house (and garden) => "Eden", home of primal ancestresses Eve and Lilith, both of whom I have previously written poems about, indicating their various affinities with the "snake" - hence my order to the cat to come inside and not kill the bird, however hungry; interesting that the "demon tree" is actually outside the garden gates, though ;-))

Inanna appeals to Utu about her unwelcome guests, but he is unsympathetic. She appeals to Gilgamesh, here her brother, and he is receptive. Later, Inanna seeks out Gilgamesh as her lover. When he spurns her she sends the Bull of Heaven to terrorize his city of Erech.

i.e. cat in drain ripping apart also former lovers I have hexed? ;-))

"Inanna's Descent to the Nether World" Inanna also visits Kur, which results in a myth reminiscent of the Greek seasonal story of Persephone. She sets out to witness the funeral rites of her sister-in-law Ereshkigal's husband Gugalanna, the Bull of Heaven. She takes precaution before setting out, by telling her servant Ninshubur to seek assistance from Enlil, Nanna, or Enki at their shrines, should she not return. Inanna knocks on the outer gates of Kur and the gatekeeper, Neti, questions her. He consults with queen Ereshkigal and then allows Inanna to pass through the seven gates of the underworld. After each gate, she is required to remove adornments and articles of clothing, until after the seventh gate, she is naked. The Annuna pass judgment against her and Ereshkigal killed her and hung her on the wall. (see Ereshkigal) (Wolkstein & Kramer 1983 pp. 52-60)
Inanna is rescued by the intervention of Enki. He creates two sexless creatures that empathize with Ereshkigal's suffering, and thereby gain a gift - Inanna's corpse. They restore her to life with the Bread of Life and the Water of Life, but the Sumerian underworld has a conservation of death law. No one can leave without providing someone to stay in their stead. Inanna is escorted by galla/demons past Ninshubur and members of her family. She doesn't allow them to claim anyone until she sees Dumuzi on his throne in Uruk. They then seize Dumuzi, but he escapes them twice by transforming himself, with the aid of Utu. Eventually he is caught and slain. Inanna spies his sister, Geshtinanna, in mourning and they go to Dumuzi. She allows Dumuzi, the shepherd, to stay in the underworld only six months of the year, while Geshtinanna will stay the other six. (Wolkstein & Kramer pp. 60-89) As with the Greek story of the kidnapping of Persephone, this linked the changing seasons, the emergence of the plants from the ground, with the return of a harvest deity from the nether world. Geshtinanna is also associated with growth, but where her brother rules over the spring harvested grain, she rules over the autumn harvested vines (Wolkstein & Kramer p. 168).

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Yellow Electric Human ;-))

I note with interest, in a biography of Brett Whiteley by Sandra McGrath, that he was born on 7 March, 1939, Good Friday. She calls him a "Classical Aries", but actually he is a sidereal Pisces, and his birthyear is also the Year of the Cat/Rabbit, which corresponds to Pisces! Being another April Fish (French for April fool!), my birthday has also swum in and out of Easter, so I feel a certain affinity already with this great 'wild man' or 'bad boy' of Australian art... We were also both born on Sydney's North Shore. "Undoubtedly his feelings for harbours, waves and open seas, associated with these family days of long walks, fishing and exploring the rocks, made Whiteley return often to these themes"[???]
What can I say? The contact between my mind and that of Brett Whiteley is as explosive a spiritual orgasm as was that between his and Vincent's... It daunts me as an artist also living under Australian skies to be living in the shadow and footsteps of a genius who has already reached this stature, of heights and depths, because, yes, the key to Whiteley is, imho, the ever-present Piscean duality of extreme love for life and equally extreme hatred of it... The only resolution of this duality seems to me to be the embrace of some form of intoxicant, drug or alcohol, because in them also lies the uneasy equilibrium between an extreme love of life and an equally extreme hatred of it... Bjorn Erik was right: to drink is to "feel like God", on this precarious and dangerous edge between sanity and insanity, that can so easily topple either way...
"...And then she said, 'Please produce something beautiful and simple, so we don't have to think too much,' and I said, 'Yes, it's time for purity. Do you have a theme?' She turned and tinglingly said, 'Yes, The Sea.'" Has everyone failed to notice that Whiteley was as important a poet as an artist, and like all poets condemned to live dangerously on the edge between affirmation and negation, between wave-crest and trough? ;-))
Also Piscean: "Whiteley on Thursday night alternated between brilliant despair and outrageous humour, imitating everything from Indian mantra sounds to the 'chuckle' of a kookaburra and a lyrebird. He has(...) an unparalleled, uncanny ability to mimic animals and people."

Friday, January 14, 2005

White Magnetic Dog: a real!

Just awoke from a really bad nightmare. I have to write it down, before I go back to bed, to try to incubate a return to it, hopefully to resolve it more satisfactorily.
Some sort of working bee in a big, old house, and it appears some of my family are participating, including some girls working unseen down in the drains.
As I am near the gate, the cat bolts out, presumably unfed, and springs into a tree after a bird; all it manages to catch is a spray of vomit all over, and a covering with mauve or lilac blossom, which makes it look quite comical. Strangely enough, for a cat, it obeys me and comes back inside, to wait until fed. Some of the vomit sprays on to me. As I go inside to wash it off, a couple of drops fall into the gully trap and dislodge a couple of saucepan lids piled there. There is an unearthly scream from down in the drain, and both my mother and I recognise it as my younger sister's. My mother comes rushing over, but I am reluctant to remove the saucepan lids, for two reasons: (i) because I am afraid of what we will see; and (ii) because to my shame I secretly want the 'spirit-cat' that somehow got in there to do its business...
As I woke with that unearthly scream ringing in my ears, I realise there had been some sort of 'bleed through' into my consciousness from an old movie still running on the TV, called the Cat People, in which two women were apparently being possessed by cats, into which they changed, and that attacked people whom they had a grudge against... This is a strange dream, because while I regard the cat as an aspect of Jaguar, normally impeccable in her ethical integrity, and a power animal of mine, this dream seems to reveal her night/'shadow'/plain nasty and 'catty' side - but then the Jaguar is the night side of the sun, or? ;-P

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Red Cosmic Moon

Thought in the manner of John Fowles' The Aristos: it is as if we are all children at a children's party, playing a game of pin the tail on the donkey; within the donkey is everything that is existent, outside the donkey is everything that is non-existent. We are all blindfolded. Where are you sticking your pin? lol

Yellow Crystal Star, galactic activation portal

Look at me blogging again: have not felt much like it in the last few days, too hot, too tired, too down, too strung out... Yeh, yeh, the list of excuses goes on, but the truth is, I do not have deep 'realizations' to share every day! lol
Had a dream fragment last night: it is as if my pictures are being magically uploaded into my blog, thought this was real, but so far not... *sigh* Hope Sebi helps me with Bloggerblot today (despite predicted heat) as I helped him realize stuff about Yahoo (yeh, we all have our different technological strengths and weaknesses, and my challenges lie in the area of mobile phones and blog pictures, at the moment; come to think of it, it also took a while before I even got a picture uploaded to my Yahoo profile - it is not as if I am so aesthetically challenged, but I am genuinely having technical difficulties beyond my control here...) *sigh*
Medicine wheel for the new lunar month of the Resonant Monkey is very interesting. Monkey was appropriately first cab off the rank, via the Tarot, even before I did the wheel (Sebi's little white gorilla sits resonating on my desk in honour of this); it seems my medicine wheel got put on hold as of Ballarat fiasco last month, but some old friends have come back from that one anyway, i.e. dolphins, skunk and dog!!! Dolphins and Dog are fairly constant in reminding me to breathe, I still have and are a good friend; Skunk is a recent addition, as of last month, it has been teaching me all about how to repel - when does it start teaching me how to attract, again? Sure, the usual Pepe Le Pews are still sniffing around my Messenger (and even unsolicited in my inbox!), but so far nothing has attracted me sufficiently to want to know any of them better.
New to the medicine wheel this month are my very own power animals Jaguar and Bat...welcome back!!! As well as Bjorn Erik's Horse, Armadillo (for a stronger sense of boundaries, so, if you want to get to me better, my defences will be up, and I am likely to shy away across the plains!), and Snake, bringing a twinkle of cosmic consciousness in its wise old reptilian eye... At this point, Sebi runs off screaming, having given me the beautiful cloth covered with snakes, stars, turtles, alligators etc for my altar! lol
A bit later: all my pictures are uploaded (thanks to Sebi for helping me!), as if by magic ;-))

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

will the real 666 please stand up? Posted by Hello

what I painted last Mayan New Year Posted by Hello

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Red Solar Serpent, galactic activation portal

I incubated a dream last night, on the topic of "breathing underwater" (Sebi is online at last, btw, and we had great fun with the fishtank IMVironment on Messenger this morning, boiling kettles, and drinking coffee underwater!) lol
But this dream was rather scary: perhaps the inner meaning of "breathing underwater" is continuing to breathe evenly, when an anxiety-provoking thought is otherwise compelling you to panic, and hyperventilate! In the dream, it is as if Josh (my son) is little again, as he often is, in my dreams, and we are moving in with some friendly guy, but on the tram (encumbered with stuff in the throes of relocation) he jumps off at a stop, and I am unable to follow... Several stops later, I have still not gone back to find him, and am feeling terribly guilty, as well as wondering what has happened to him...
In waking life, I have not been able to catch up with Josh for weeks, due to relocation to Ballarat, and back again, and we used to catch up every week, or so; he is in the throes of a marital separation, and had to move out of his flat because he is now unemployed and unable to afford the rent, and he promised a long email explaining everything last Saturday, but still has not got around to it; hopefully, I will see him this weekend as he promised?
BTW, Red Solar Serpent day is a really sentimental day for me, as it was the day I first joined Sacred Heart art group - even if Sebi doesn't like it much, cos he is phobic about snakes (herpetophobic?) ;-P
Sebi's blog has given us some new food for thought, in the opening line from John Fowles' The Aristos: "Where are we? What is this situation? Has it a master?" This is a question that might well be asked by anyone even remotely contemplating a blog, or anyone who is an old hand at blogging... Btw, you know you are a cyberfreak when, like Sebi, you call your significant other "" (and he has been online way less than I have, but is already more of a cyberfreak, by that definition!). Hank, Alex and even Shelly, Alex's dog (a reincarnation of Shoddy?) must also get blogged; c'mon, in the immortal, paraphrased words of Bob Dylan, "Everybody must get blogged!" Wondering if this situation even has a master has some strange, metaphysical, not to mention kabbalistic implications as well; who is 'master' anyway, the Macroprosopos or the Microprosopos? I am tempted to reply to this question with a glib, anarchistic "No god, no master", but that would be too easy, and a kneejerk response! ;-))

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Yellow Galactic Seed

Today, in my meditation upon the Tree of Life, I find that I am even able to sing a Christian Te Deum, and it makes perfect Kabbalistic sense!
Sebi is also not only beginning his meditation practice, but has also got the point of having an altar, to the extent of discouraging visiting friends from using it as a coffee table; sometimes we only get the hang of these things by "teaching" them ourselves (basis of the peer teaching model in education)! ;-))

Friday, January 07, 2005

Blue Resonant Night

'Day of Wisdom' meditation with Sebi's owl, invoking the goddess Athene into my dreams, worked beautifully last night, although I did not have any dreams that I recall! The Secret Dakini Oracle cards that turned up were 36 - guardian and 15 - Ally (what the uninitiate call "the devil"), which has been my best friend in dreams in the past, and even more than friends, i.e. some sort of "betrothed": Tibetans would call this a "wrathful" as opposed to "peaceful deity", but it is no less protective. 11- Self-Created (the path holding the balance between mercy and justice); 4 - Hot Seat (which was really my jet propulsion from sephira 6 up to Chokmah, Wisdom, which was the goal of the ritual!), and 18- Soma (feminine wisdom mostly concerned with the mundane affairs around which most dreams revolve?).

Thursday, January 06, 2005

White Rhythmic Wind

And by the way, the Dream:Star Tzolkin has 425 kin (17 x 25) and of course I am smack dab in the very middle. Very significant kin for Fonton Fonon's work ;-))
And according to this Tzolkin, I am a Dragon! 04.12.1956: 9 Imix - Red Solar Dragon, Kin 213 - "I pulse in order to nurture, realizing being; I seal the input of birth with the solar tone of intention. I am guided by the power of navigation."
Makes me wonder why I am holding that Dragon back (as per last dream!)... Knew I was born in the Chinese month of the Dragon, corresponding to western (tropical) Aries, sidereally Moon and Mercury... "Power of navigation" feels good too, given that I love the idea of Red Earth, and have even been known to channel Gaia online! Hence, the red centre was a very special pilgrimage for me ;-))

>>Yellow Southern Castle of Giving: Court of Intelligence
That has something to do with Owl/Warriors, right? And I am going to do a special "day of wisdom" meditation for last quarter tonight, with the little owl Sebi lent me ;-))
>Ripen Sun>Season of Awakening
Sounds like Vincent in Arles to me! ;-))
>Blue Eagle Star-wavespell>Blue Star-Castle
And the Eagle relates to what in my Dream:Star, Dragonsmane? Better blog this for future reference, anyway! Always thought I should be inspired by Eagles, as I have been known to 'inspire', i.e. ground, and play the lead boots to, Skywalkers!

If the lunar side of me is a Wizard, and the solar side of me is a Dragon, should I change my name to Dragonwizard? Wonders when Sebi is coming online, today... ;-))

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Red Overtone Dragon

Today, I found that Sebi had not even begun to start his work on our New Year project of working through the ritual magic book, so I helped him set up his altar: very aesthetically pleasing and uncluttered, with a lightly fringed, lavendar altar cloth, a big white Buddha in the east, draped with a pink stole for love, alongside the incense holder (for air), a little heart-shaped lavendar candle (fire), his fortune cards topped by a watery visualization image (water) and a little bag of rune stones in black velvet (earth). Now he is all ready to begin the first simple exercise of cleansing the altar, and beginning his meditation! Hope he does not forget to reverse the north-south polarity for the southern hemisphere, and, even if he doesn't, hope he does not get too confused by this!

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Yellow Self-Existing Sun: Blessed Kuriakos Elias Chavara

I feel today to be quite a blissful and auspicious day, because of the coincidence of this Mayan Tzolkin date with the feast, in the Carmelite breviary, of this obscure Carmelite 'blessed', i.e. candidate for sainthood. He, whose full name in religion included "of the Holy Family", died on this day, 1871, "after a life of great innocence", declaring "before his death he had never lost his baptismal innocence". Although my life has been quite different to his, considering in many ways I have played the holy whore of Babylon (!), I too can feel, as I don once again the old brown scapular for this morning's meditation, that I too have never lost my "baptismal innocence", or indeed, the "original blessing" spoken of by Matthew Fox (one of the better Dominicans, pursued by, rather than pursuing, the Inquisition) and a pope also called "Pope Innocent". I not only feel this original innocence beaming from deep within me, but also bathed in the rays of a cosmic, transcendent sun, although I do not need this to keep me warm, with our beautiful yellow dwarf shining in all its southern hemisphere, summer splendour, and my little brown scapular over the nightdress I still have not taken off, the same brown scapular which once, at my lay Carmelite initiation, made me feel bathed in the matrix of universal fire called down by the prophet Elijah... So I turn the "spiritual blessing" of a "prayer answered" into a Catholic "prayer intention", and join it to my magical intention for this week, which shall remain secret until manifest, upon which, Pope John Paul II, if you are reading this blog, promptly promote Blessed Kuriakos Elias Chavara to fully-fledged sanctity forthwith! lol And since he was popular not only with his fellow Catholics, but also the "gentiles and Nestorians" of Malabar, maybe he is truly an icon for ecumenical, universal, catholic peace in our troubled times? ;-))

And his full name, including "of the Holy Family", reminds me that perhaps to this day, in the year 2000, five years ago now, I did an icon of the Holy Family to illustrate one of the poems of my beloved Bjorn Erik, still locked up in Norway, and even the "guards", aka. "screws" of the psychiatric hospital, had to admit I was quite a gifted artist, and so I gained some instant respect, and that was even before I showed them my community psych. paper on issues of power and control in psychiatric communities, as well as unholy families! ;-))

Even the picture of the "Carmelite family tree" in the breviary has some resemblance to the glyph of the Tree of Life (this month's meditation topic)! And I guess the 'image' for the best thing that happened to me today is that I feel like one of Vincent's sunflowers, prophesied by an artwork of my own as long ago as 2003, or as they are called in French, a 'tournesol', a little sun turning towards a larger sun! ;-))

Even tsunamis are good news for some?

>A major earthquake is a traditional Burmese omen of an imminent change of government. To many Burmese the collapse of the famous Maw-Tin-Soun Pagoda in Bassein, due to the December 26th Earthquake, was a clear sign that Than Shwe's government will soon fall. The only uncertainty is whether Than Shwe suffers a third and fatal stroke or experiences a S-2 General Tin Oo type demise.

Hehe, so a major earthquake can be good news for some? ;-))

>This is from the Democratic Voice of Burma:>>"A university tutor told DVB that the rumours of more aftershocks started when unusual numbers of black scorpions were spotted fleeing their nests within the campus of Rangoon University. The military authorities are still keeping silent about the reports. "

The Democratic Voice of Burma is based in Norway? Cool ;-))

Yellow Celestial Sun newsletter?

I do not remember asking for or subscribing to this newsletter that somehow found its way into my inbox, but since it is the day of the Yellow Self-Existing Sun, I find the synchronicity impossible to resist, so I read the horoscope it contains for me anyway:

Virgo (I always refer to my rising sign in horoscopes, rather than 'sun sign', because 'horoscopes' as such assume that everyone was born at sunrise, which in most cases, we are not!)

"Before Jan 28th you may entertain the idea of a romantic relationship at a committed level and in all cases reconsider the person you're attempting to pursue or allowing to pursue you."

Yeh, I woke up this morning still being tempted, in my head, by erotic thoughts of the person to whom I last thought of being committed, and who has since been bound, and banished! ;-P

"You're likely to enjoy a happier time in all relational experiences once you realize that you are responsible for your true happiness in every sense of the word. Recapture the events of last year by looking at your choices and make it your goal this year to make better more viably suitable choices for yourself both personally and professionally. You suddenly realize what you want and need, and then magically you get it. Spiritual Blessing: You will be especially grateful for an answered prayer. "

Yeh, this horoscope is quite a 'spiritual blessing', out of the celestial blue (or yellow!), cos I did not ask for it, but received it anyway (and some would call that spam! lol). It seems to go quite well with the card I drew for this year, 2005, i.e. the Lovers...see last post! ;-))

Saturday, January 01, 2005

White Lunar Mirror, 20 Rhythmic Lizard, Blue Crystal Storm

It seems my Tarot card for 2005 is the Lovers, and the version of it in the Secret Dakini Oracle beautifully 'reflects' one of the keywords for today, namely 'to reflect'. The lovers are necessarily 'polarised', because they are two, and this is a 'challenge', but in their perfect stillness of reflection, like the moon reflected in a clear lake, they are one... On the Tree of Life, this continues last year's path of Death (Venus to the Sun), but through the Sun and onward up to Binah, the Great Mother, Saturn, the limits of human consciousness?

Asgif's new blog, 2005

Funny, that I began this blog on the first day of this financial year, but that was a false start, as financial new year means nothing to me, since I do not live in the world of high finance!
It was a false start in other ways, as well, as it involved a lot of necessary endings, but as yet no (really) new beginnings. A friend in hospital who just rang me said she would not be up to writing something about New Year's resolutions anyway, because, while she too felt that everything was ending, she had no new beginning to write about yet, and didn't feel up to it.
All this week has been about endings, and will culminate tonight in putting a binding/banishing spell on someone, who needs to be bound (to minimise potential harm to others) and also banished, from my head, as well as my heart and life. After that, the way should be much more open for new beginnings.
My best friend Sebi Aristos and I are starting an exciting new project, of working through a ritual magic workbook, month by month. The temple has been cleaned in readiness, all necessary reminders written with my own hand in my Book of Shadows, and the floor mat painted with the magical quarters. This blog will become the place to record my 'realizations'; in the book, it says not to share these with anyone at first, but since I have not had any comments posted on this blog yet, I figure it is as good as a private diary! *lol*
Also, Bjorn Erik, my Norwegian hubby, still in hospital in Norway as we speak, has sent me, for New Year, a beautiful little silver ankh, with a turquoise on it; he had wanted a new wedding ring, at which I drew the line, because the original wedding ring, that I bought, in his case ended up in the loo in a psychotic fit, and I can no longer afford wedding rings anyway, due to subsequent misadventures of the heart. It is as if he has sent me not only a wedding token anyway, but also a talisman befitting a solitary witch, as high priestess of her own coven, and the mysteries! I also unpicked the yukky, discoloured blue-crystal layer over my pentagram, and it now shines more brightly silver over the ankh in my cleavage!
It is not even 'my' New Year, which doesn't happen until July 26th in the Mayan calendar, but since time is cyclical and not linear, anyway, any day can be a day for 'endings' and 'new beginnings'. o O (could that be my first 'realization', I wonder?) In the words of A Course In Miracles, "let's make this year different by making it all the same"!

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